Somethings are so stupid you just can’t make them up…
But wait it gets much so much worse…
]]>< 
I think we can come up with three good captions to replace that text with. Any takers?
Why Is Mommy A Democrat?
About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
Mommy won’t let you say any naughty words on TV because Mommy says that’s un-Godly.
Mommy will throw you in jail for experimenting with drugs.
Mommy will take all your money and give it to lazy people.
Mommy will take away your means of protection, leaving you more volnerable to rapists.
QUOTE: “Page 2: Democrats make sure those big scary republican truth-speakers have no influence over their children – just like Mommy does.”
Oh, come on. Republicans are just as bad as Democrats, if not worse.
QUOTE: “I read a Winnie the Pooh book a while ago and in it he doesn’t want to give up half of his honey jars to the needy because he might need to put honey in them some day. Then that liberal douche bag Christopher Robin convinced him to give more than half. And did you ever notice how Winnie doesn’t wear any pants? Disney is now nothing but purveyors of child porn and communist propaganda.”
It’s not Communist it Winnie the Pooh gives it away voluntarily. It’s only Communist if he is forced to. Capitalism is all about voluntary, mutual consent.
QUOTE: “They should all have the same caption; ‘Democrats want to totally control you and every aspect of your life because they think you’re incapable of handling things yourself, just like Mommy does.'”
Exactly.
QUOTE: “Why does this book depict Dems as squirrels, not donkeys?”
The official mascot of the Democratic Party is a Rooster, not a Donkey.
QUOTE: “Wow. I’m 22 and I still don’t know for certain which way my parents vote. Of course, I have a fair idea, but every time I ask them, they’ve always said ‘That’s between me and the ballot box, I don’t want my opinions on politics to influence yours.'”
I convinced, somehow, my Democratic grandmother to vote Libertarian in this past election. She couldn’t stand Bush (who can?), but she couldn’t stand Kerry, either. I think she made the right choice.
QUOTE: “Democrats make sure children can go to a public school to learn how to use drugs and deny their morals, just like mommy does.”
You’re very confused. Mommy hates drugs, and will throw you in jail for years and years just for using something as safe and non-addictive as pot. She thinks that’s “protecting” you. (See page two.)
QUOTE: “Democrats collect nuts, just like Mommy does..
“Now I know why I love cats..”
Except for the killing of innocent things, cats are the most Libertarian, independant animals I can think of.
QUOTE: “2. Democrats confuse a foreign policy of appeasement with that of safety, just like Mommy does.”
Republicans confuse a foreign policy of poking-bee-hives with that of safety, just like Mommy.
QUOTE: “Just replace the word ‘Democrats’ with ‘Big Government’, and you pretty much have the Democratic party’s philosophy in a nutshell (pardon the pun).”
Republicans and Democrats sure do love Big Government. Very true.
QUOTE: “Did anyone notice that in the toys pic, three of the blocks spell out the word ‘RAT!'”
Those letters are needed in spelling the word “Democrat,” which, although there were clearly not enough blocks, I believe that’s the word they were spelling.
QUOTE: “Why Daddy Is A Republican:
“…because I want you to grow up believing that you can do amazing things if you try hard enough. I want you to know that there are such things as good and bad, and I want you to be able to tell the difference. I want you to be able to protect yourself and those others who need it. I want you to go out into the world and make it your own.”
Daddy is a Republican so that, when you don’t listen to Mommy, she has someone to turn to to get a belt and enforce her rules.
Someone was actually paid to write this fantastic pap? Worse yet, some company actually published it?
Hmm, I’m thinking Squirrel Stew is appropriate.
“Democrats make sure those big scary republican truth-speakers…”
Bwahahaha! I don’t care what the hell your party is, if it’s political, it’s part lie. I might be Dem, but there could just as easily be a book like this for Reps too…
I love seeing efforts by parents to pass on their most deeply held values to their kids. It’s just an important part of raising a child, giving them the judgment and character to succeed in the world.
But seeing parents trying to pass on their political affiliation to their kids, that’s a different story. Teaching kids that early to unquestioningly revere a political party, and to see non-Democrats as enemies of the family, is simply wrong. It reminds me of Chinese communist propaganda art.
I’m a die-hard Democrat, so I think that if you teach your kids good values and independent thinking, they’ll end up picking Democrats in national races, even without the parental brainwashing. But kids should be able to reach those conclusions themselves, to think independently and decide their own vote.
I hope the Republicans out there don’t respond in kind to this book. Seeing some of the replies on this page, this book is just more fuel on the partisan fire and it’ll further pollute the tone of politics. I hope Republicans and Democrats can look at something like this for the pointless crap that it is, and try harder to understand each other and work together toward common goals and solutions to common problems (of which there are PLENTY).
Hey you idiots who are ridiculing or demonizing this book. The book is a parody and is a response to “Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!” Read or watch something other than Fox News every once in a while.
Continued sucess of our great democracy depends upon decent moral values, some intellect, a lot of work, some tolerance, some maturity, and a lot of responsibility. Sad and so frightening to see to see the aapparent lack of these essential elements of freedom in many of the above responses from countrymen. I do indeed shudder as I contemplate the future of this great nation.
1. Democrats like spending other people’s money, just like mommy does.
2. Democrats play politics with other people’s safety, just like mommy does.
3. Democrats don’t believe you should be allowed to take your religious beliefs to school with you, just like mommy doesn’t.
Actually, both your mommies are democrats.
Is this the boy mommy or the 2nd mommy? I get confused…then again, they are dumb-o-crats! A book written about and by decent people are usually considered politically incorrect by dumb-o-crats. They appease and then run for cover when the s**t hits the fan. Apparently one or two of you dumb-o-crats read and watch Fox occasionally and that is a good sign that one day you’ll see the big picture; or at least you might get a clue as to what family values are.
correction… book written about and by decent people “is” usually considered politically incorrect by dumb-o-crats.
We admit and correct our mistakes. What has the drunken murderer fessed up to?
Why so much hate? If you don’t like it, then just agree to disagree. Isn’t there enough of this elsewhere in the world? As Martin Luther King, Jr. so nobly said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Mommy’s a Moonbat cause she’s as smart as her kids.
Feasors, actually, go to Littledemocrats.net. That is the site that is selling the book, and it does not seem to be a parody, but a serious (from their point of view) children’s book. Maybe you should actually research something before you use name-calling against those who obviously know more about the subject than you do.
This mommy is a democrat because she was taught by her parents that hate is not a family value.
This mommy is a democrat because she understands that although she was born into a white, happy and privileged family, not every one has the same opportunity that she has had
This mommy is a democrat understands that not every poor person is lazy, not every homeless person should just go out and get a job, she understands that so many are mentally ill
She knows this because she has volunteered at the homeless shelters.
This mommy is a democrat who will teach her children how important it is to work hard for everything you want in life, to understand that some people won’t, and try not to become too bitter over that……Sometimes life’s not fair so get over it
This mommy is a democrat because she was taught by her parents that not everyone thinks the same way, believes in the same things, has the same god, and that this is ok
This mommy is a democrat and understands that the needs of the many will always out weight the needs of the few
This mommy understands that in order to live in a great country, taxes must be paid, and don’t mind to pay them. It’s a pretty good return!!!
This mommy is a democrat, who loves her country and respects differences in people, who prays every night for thoses fighting in Iraq and wonders why they are really are there.
This mommy is a democrat who loves her husband and wishes he diden’t work two jobs because his went overseas. But that’s ok, real daddys not only take care of thier wife and kids, but are willing to help your wife and kids out when he can.
This mommy is a democrat who understands that it DOES take a village to raise a child
This mommy is a democrat who can’t wait until November 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mommy wasn’t born into a white, overpriveledged family, she was born in a low income squirrel nest provided by the government because her mother was too busy pushing crank to work and get health insurance…
yes carissa, we know your mom was a crackho, who taught you to correct the spelling of a word like “privileged” so that it reads “overpriveledged”. better start learning how to give good BJs so your rich husband doesn’t toss you out on your ass next to the guy in the park with the baseball cap
Missing the point here kids…squirrel hunting is legal in almost every state! No Limits!
books like this scare me…is there a book for Republicans as well? Curious!
This book is awesome, I highly recommend it
Mommy is a Democrat because she is a big disgusting lesbian and believes it’s important to teach her young that it’s OK to be “different” and lead a sinful devient lifestlye and still be like normal people.
Wow. Take a simple, silly little book and come up with some really hateful, nasty comments. How interesting. Do you guys ever actually debate real issues on any sites, or do you stay on these where you can just stick to the basics – being hateful? I found this website by mistake, but i sure hope it isn’t the least bit representative of what this country is about. I only read one reasonable response. Scary.
In all the suggestions in this message board how to substitute the captions I can see only hate and no serious argument. It seems this book hit a nerve with rednecks und wannabelimboughs… 🙂 Why don’t you write a book for children detailing how good it is to live off the crumbs dropped by the rich, how great it is to have no health insurance, how brilliant it is to invade sovereign countries against the advise of the world community, how nice it is to conserve the right of this generation to plunder the planet, how wonderful the world is with NRA fanatics having the right to run around with sub machine guns and all the other lofty goals promoted by the GOP to bring death and sorrow to this world …. The kids will truly appreciate…..
Wow, “hit a nerve” is an understatement. The comments no this board in reaction to an inconsequential little puff book are quite telling – telling of thin skin. For years and years Limbaugh and dozens of his imitators, and then finally an administration and an entire party, put forth the message that anyone not lining up with their values simply HAD no values, and that liberal was a dirty word, and on and on and on. So in their minds, it’s fine to take the stand of “anyone who doesn’t agree with us is insane” but let a children’s book dare to argue for the other side, and whoa, that’s DIFFERENT. Hell hath no fury like a Republican scorne– er, like a Republican who lost in November, apparently.
Mommy is a democrat because, unlike most of the people who posted here, she likes an open, honest discussion of facts and ideas, not ad-hominem attacks on people who are different. I find it interesting that the people writing about rape and murder in response to a childrens book truly believe they are on the moral high ground. I’m not sure if I’m more sickened or saddened.
I felt a little jaded after reading the sample pages. Regardless of any positive message the author had in mind it is still creepy. As a mother of a young child the stranger issue is not to be taken lightly. Children need to learn appropriate boundaries. While caring for the welfare of others is an important lesson to learn at all ages, safety is as well. Still after reading the comments I am even more put off.
Mommy is single.
Mommy is below the poverty level.
Mommy works her a** of at college.
Mommy takes good care of her little one.
Mommy is not ashamed of asking for help.
Mommy knows one day she will help others too.
Mommy has gotten over the fact that daddy owns his own business but does less than his fare share financially.
Where in the h*** is daddy anyways? -He sure left real quickly when mommy held him to his word.
Mommy votes republican
because she believes there is one right and wrong.
because all human life is sacred.
because she knows if she works hard she can reach her goals.
This is propaganda pure and simple.
Governments don’t provide the things claimed in this book. Politicians don’t. Democrats most assuredly do not, although I’m sure that they would like to convince everyone that they do. They don’t, and they shouldn’t.
This is the most disgraceful form of propaganda. It takes place against children, too young to intellectually defend themselves against such propaganda. This book could have come right out of the school of a communist country with a politically oppressive dictatorship like Cuba.
How someone could consider “progressive” the brainwashing of children by their very own PARENTS through such rubbish is beyond me.
Quote from Vaclav Havel’s speech to UN World Summit for Children, 1990, re politicians & children:”But I have seen even greater perversities . . . I saw Hitler waving in a friendly way to fanaticized little girls of Hitlerjugend; I saw the mass murderer Stalin kissing a child wearing the red communist youth-organization scarf, a child whose parents ended up like so many others in gulags; I saw Gottwald, the Stalin of Czechoslovakia, joking with young miners, the builders of socialism who were later to become cripples; I saw the Iraqi President Hussein patting the children of his hostages on the head, hostages whom he now says he is ready to have shot.
Why don’t you write a book for children detailing how good it is to live off the crumbs dropped by the rich,
— first off it is the democrats that are stealing from me in the form of taxes to give to welfare families. You have no right to do that when they can go out and get a job themself. What are you talking about living off the crumbs of the rich? Are you talking about when they buy a Cadillac escalade or a Yacht or a 10 million dollar house? Tell that to the people who make a living by making that SUV and Ship and building that house and wiring it. Heck talk to your favorite John Kerry and have another Chivas Ted Kennedy. They are so wealthy and his wife Teresa Heinz Kerry wouldn’t even give a penny to help all the people devasted by floods in the area that she has a house in. All of your rich democrats don’t practice what they preach. They could live in a modest $700k house and give the rest to the poor. Do they? Heck no because they want me who makes $100k a year and raising a family to give more and yes this amount is between what me and my husband makes. There is proof that republicans are more generous in giving to charities then democrats because democrats believe they should be taken care of by the govt which ultimatly comes from every working person in this country. (stealing) (communism)
how great it is to have no health insurance,
—first off health insurance is not a right granted by our constitution. Look at Canada and ask the people who have to wait 8 months to a year or more to get elective surgery because it is not worth it for a doctor to practice so they have less doctors than the US. Second off, the only people that don’t have health care are the ones that work and refuse to be on welfare. Welfare pigs get it. They are leeches on the ass of society. Hospital bills are so high because of what needs to be collected from people who receive care and don’t pay for it. Illegal immigrants get it when they pour over the border and need medical help. Hospitals won’t turn them down. People who work in corporations get it.
how brilliant it is to invade sovereign countries against the advise of the world community,
—and listen to the UN. They are so damn corrupt. The UN isn’t around to solve problems in the world. They were taking money off of Saddam and looking the other way while he killed millions of his people. They do nothing for the people in Dar Fur. The world community are lilly livered pansies and you want our country to be the same way. Do you think those terrorists are ever going to roll over and submit. NO. They know all you dem pansies are weak and don’t have the stomach to keep it up against them. They are like a rabid rottweiler. Do you pat one of them on the head and say good doggy and hope it doesn’t rip your throat out. No you shoot it. The terrorist will never submit if you go over there and just give them a hug. They feel no sympathy, they are a killing machine that is all they know. They only respect strength and weakness. And if they ever do make it to US and take over the dems will be the first they kill off due to their sexual depravity.
how nice it is to conserve the right of this generation to plunder the planet,
—don’t think the human is so great that it can take down this planet. The planet and nature is so powerful that it can take care of itself. The ones doing the most damage to the planet are the environmentalist. The Toyota Prius plant in Ontario is killing all plants and vegetation in the area due to the Nickel that is provided to make the “enviromentally safe car”. This planet will be around long after man has vanished and it will thrive.
how wonderful the world is with NRA fanatics having the right to run around with sub machine
—HELLO the people that belong to the NRA are good law abiding citizens. The whacko fanactics that go around and kill people with them are all inner city thugs. All the inner city problems were created by the democrats gawd awful welfare plan. The inner city thugs who carry guns don’t join the NRA, they don’t buy guns legally, .
guns and all the other lofty goals promoted by the GOP to bring death and sorrow to this world …. The kids will truly appreciate…..
—the democrats have brought more death and sorrow to this world then anybody. Jimmy Carter probably single handedly screwed up this world more than anybody and the effects will be long felt with North Korea and Iran working on getting Nuclear weapons. How about we do this. How about the US pulls it military out of every single country in this world. Let’s just roll over and show them how weak you want us to be. In good faith, why don’t we give North Korea and Iran all of our Nuclear weapons then let’s bet how long it takes them to blow up the major cities in the US. I say a month. I am glad that I don’t live near a major city that they would probably hit. I hope I am far enough away from two of them not to get radiation poisoning.
Sorry, I don’t think so. I want my kids to grow up in a US that is safe. Have they attacked us since 9/11 NO. They hit us 3 times when Clinton was in office cuz they knew he was a pansy and wouldn’t go after them which he didn’t. That is why it escalated into 9/11.
i am surprised that democrats have children to read books to
this blog is the 2nd result for googling, “why mommy is a democrat,” and while i am not a republican, i found the sample pages to be quite scary. yes, adopt these values because your mommy said so. sorry for the day the children are beaten by their democratic parents. and they are left with, mommy beats me because she’s a democrat. who told this guy to write children’s books? i’ve never seen such shadiness as all democrats are nurturing protectors who want the best for everyone and are willing to share everything! while republicans do not share toys, and are selfish nincompoops who will throw their own children in the way of an elephant to get trampled upon because as we all know children are a major financial drain. especially if you buy them 10 dollar p.o.s. like this. notice how he doesn’t say in what field he received his b.a. or ph.d. doubt it was political science.
Ok, all, a few comments.
1. I am a nuetral party, all things considered.
2. Why is it that one side can’t correct the other’s injustices without adding a slam to the end of the paragraph? (yes i can spell paragraph, for those with much wit out there)
3. Respect is a human value that should be on both sides of the coin, Republican or Democrat. For instance, I’m in the Air National Guard, I might not agree with Bush, but he is my Commander in Chief, so i will give him my respect, and also to the next person to become my President, no matter who it is. Stop being petty and slamming each other.
4. You could always not buy the book…
It’s not propaganda, it’s indoctrination.
Hitler said, “Give me the child til he is five, and he is mine.” The idea has been verified by hundreds of researchers; what a child learns up to the age when he or she goes to primary school is critical in how he or she develops over time.
Language like this seems innocuous. But if you’ve ever studied linguistics, you can turn the words inside out. All these “democratic” values held by Mommy imply that if she were anything but a Democrat, she’d have other, bad values. A child is very simple. There is only good and bad. Mommy is good, therefore whatever Mommy doesn’t agree with is bad.
I teach my children morals through stories, not by indoctrinating them. (This is a book, but by no means a story.) I love it that children of other races are all brown — light or dark — and that they don’t distinguish between them. And that they’re asking me about God, and how Heaven works, and why people do bad things and why they do good things.
Books like this are libellious trash, if only by what they imply but do not say. Language is not a weapon with which we infect our children; it is a tool through which we bring the best out in them. A child is not a tabula raza to be written upon or programmed; he is a reasonable (really) being who can be taught to think for himself. Only people who don’t know how to manage children to begin with would read trash like this to their children.
1. Democrats make sure the things we play with are absolutely no fun, because they don’t want socialized healthcare to cost too much due to the psychological issues that apparently come up from video games and entertainment, which Democrats enjoy limiting, because Mommy doesn’t like parenting herself.
2. Democrats make sure that taxes and minimum wage levels are high so that more people end up unemployed, so that Mommy and the PTA feel like their excessive safety laws now have a purpose. She also doesn’t want us running or learning self defense because the Democrats will protect us.
3. (I propose using the one Random Yak submitted about 2 years ago)
All I have to say is
“Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!”
Mommy is a Republican because:
1. Her kids have health insurance, so to hell with the kids who don’t.
2. Her kids can afford college, so to hell with the kids who can’t.
3. Her kids have a comfortable home, so to hell with the kids whose parents haven’t received a minimum wage increase in years.
4. Her kids don’t have to join the military (and fight in Bush’s unnecessary war) in order to afford college.
5. Her kids have straight parents, the only kind who are absolutely guaranteed to be loving and responsible.
6. Her kids are picked up in SUVs because she knows that global warming is a myth.
7. Her kids can look forward to getting their very own assault weapons some day.
Ok, to the NYCrack-head Liberal who just posted:
1. lived without health insurance all my life, cause we couldn’y afford it in a family of nine.
2. Never had so much as an allowance, never mind college money from my parents.
3. Now have a semi-comfortable home that took our family eight years to build ourselves. have lived in trailers in past times.
4. Currently in the military so i can afford college. i’ll nave you know everyone i know in Iraq volunteered. suck it.
5. No-one’s done any gay bashing here to my knowledge, and sarcasm isn’t the best way to make a point.
6. Stereotyping everything you’ve heard from the media in general doesn’t make you seem any smarter. i drive a small vehicle that gets 28 mpg. Repubs are responsible too believe it or not.
7. I was raised without weapons, whatever you’re implying.
i’ve opened a moot e-mail account for people who would like to discuss this more thouroughly.
crash-bang@hotmail.com
Responding to the NYC Liberal:
“1. Her kids have health insurance, so to hell with the kids who don’t.”
The federal government is the last entity that should be trusted to take care of poor people. We have a federal government that regularly uses poor people to fight statist, corporate wars for its own profit.
Considering the amount of beuracracy, and the fact that the taxes for socialized medicine would probably be paid for by the lower-middle class and those who are already relatively poor (for AMericans), and considering socialized medicine will probably be corrupt, increased taxes for health insurance would probably hurt the poor more than help them.
The alternative — let the free market decide the cost of medical treatment; medical treatment stays between the patient and the doctor, without a corrupt businessman/government pocketing your money and charging you for inadequate medical care.
“2. Her kids can afford college, so to hell with the kids who can’t.”
Many colleges are “need-blind”. In fact, many Ivy League colleges offer to pay FULL TUITION for families making under 50,000/year.
In addition, community colleges and libraries supply the same education for much lower prices, despite the lack of the piece of paper that comes with it.
The corruption in public schools is also another consequence of increased government role in our private lives.
“3. Her kids have a comfortable home, so to hell with the kids whose parents haven’t received a minimum wage increase in years.”
Minimum wages are not market defined; therefore, when the Democrats force minimum wage, business, especially small businesses, must lay off workers, increasing unemployment.
The free market can handle poverty far better than minimum wage laws; the problem is too much government, not enough.
“4. Her kids don’t have to join the military (and fight in Bush’s unnecessary war) in order to afford college.”
Neither does anyone else. Federal loans; community college; scholarships; good test scores; tons of other alternatives.
The high number of poor people in the army probably has a lot more to do with the use of recruiters in underfunded high schools than being “forced” to enter the military to pay for shit.
Furthermore, the Democrats are NOT anti-war. Clinton, Obama, Edwards, and everyone on the ballot outside of Kucinich have either voted for th war, voted for troop increases, or crafted some form of sick policy to keep the United States in the war.
Real republican Republicans, however, like the honorable Ron Paul of Texas, who is running in the Republican primaries, have (or has, because there’s really only one) voted against the war due to the inherent abuse of power involved in pre-emptive, agressive, and deceitful wars like the one on Iraq.
“5. Her kids have straight parents, the only kind who are absolutely guaranteed to be loving and responsible.”
I take the libertarian position — let the family raise its kids as gay as it pleases, they’ll be phased out of the gene pool as soon as possible.
“6. Her kids are picked up in SUVs because she knows that global warming is a myth.”
That, or she knows that the atmosphere is fucked anyway because of China and volcanoes.
“7. Her kids can look forward to getting their very own assault weapons some day.”
It’s called the 2nd amendment. When the ATF comes for your kids due to their religion, or the Oakland PD comes for your kids because of some asshole’s bullshit tipoff, you’ll know why our forefathers wanted us to cherish the great equalizer.
That, plus increased gun availability lowers crime rates by, in your own liberal-type terms, “evening the playing field”. If my kids had assault rifles, I wouldn’t worry what time they got home, and they wouldn’t have to wait five to sixthousand minutes for the police to show up if they feel like it.
Wow, the commenters here are really funny in an uninformed, hate, hate, hate, sort of way. You make laugh, and me proud to be liberal. Thanks
maybe the majority of humans are just fundamentally incompetent and selfish to the point where we will never truly be free from eachother’s control and exist as a race of individuals.
i forgot who said this concerning society but o well:
“From bondage to spiritual faith to courage to abundance to complacency to apathy; & from apathy to dependence back into bondage”
my mommy is a demoscat. i love whipp
My mommy is a democrat is a very selfish book. this book will not share any information with me about what it is about. my son found this on the internet and asked me what a democrat is. I DEMAND COMPENSTATION. ps…..i like nuts in my mouth, except black nuts. just the white ones
The best line in the book is “democrats make sure everyone share”. The kicker, MAKE SURE!. Like we will steal from you to give to someone that will vote for us.
republicans confuse me.