Somethings are so stupid you just can’t make them up…
But wait it gets much so much worse…
]]>< 
I think we can come up with three good captions to replace that text with. Any takers?
Why Is Mommy A Democrat?
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About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
’cause mommy likes nuts in her mouth.
Wow. Just, wow.
‘Cos Democrats would lock both of your deadbeat dads for lack of child support—just like Mommy would—even though I didn’t tell them you even existed until you were five.
Page 1: Democrats make sure the poor people stay on their park benches and out of our toyboxes…just like Mommy does.
Page 2: Democrats make sure those big scary republican truth-speakers have no influence over their children – just like Mommy does.
Page 3: Democrats make sure their children are educated by/with/about fruits and nuts…just like Mommy does.
Note that on page 3 it became a “choose your own way” type of story so that everyone can pick what’s right in his own eyes – just like Mommy does.
Hmmm.
Well there’s no real way to parody this. It’s pretty much a parody all by itself.
Just who is the demographic for this bit of nonsense?
Why Mommy is a Dhimmicrat:
1. Dhimmicrats make sure all our toys get taken away and given to people who hate us and want to rape and murder us all, just like Mommy does.
2. Dhimmicrats make sure that when thugs and bullies attack us, we’ll all lie down peacefully to get raped and murdered, just like Mommy does.
3. Dhimmicrats make sure that all children have to go to school so that teachers can rape them and bullies can murder them, just like Mommy does.
1. Democrats make sure that when Mommy wants to kill her other little babies, she doesn’t have to tell Daddy first.
2. Democrats make sure you can kill your little babies too without even having to tell Mommy or Daddy.
I read a Winnie the Pooh book a while ago and in it he doesn’t want to give up half of his honey jars to the needy because he might need to put honey in them some day. Then that liberal douche bag Christopher Robin convinced him to give more than half. And did you ever notice how Winnie doesn’t wear any pants? Disney is now nothing but purveyors of child porn and communist propaganda.
They should all have the same caption; “Democrats want to totally control you and every aspect of your life because they think you’re incapable of handling things yourself, just like Mommy does.”
Why does this book depict Dems as squirrels, not donkeys?
And does anyone else find it interesting that Momma Squirrel is apparently a single mother?
Wow. I’m 22 and I still don’t know for certain which way my parents vote. Of course, I have a fair idea, but every time I ask them, they’ve always said “That’s between me and the ballot box, I don’t want my opinions on politics to influence yours.”
Having seen “Why Mommy is a Democrat”, I really respect my parents for letting me be my own person.
In Prince George’s County, MD, EVERY county and state elected official is a Democrat.
—–
“Democrats make sure we are always safe . . .”
The county has the highest murder rate in the Washington, DC, area and second highest in the state. A more accurate caption might be:
“Democrats make sure we are always in danger . . .”
—–
“Democrats make sure children can go to school . . .”
The county has the worst schools in the Washington, DC, area; second worst in the state. Fights are commonplace. The head of the school system recently resigned while being investigated by the FBI. One of his top assistants has recently been convicted on federal drug money laundering charges, and indicted for witness tampering. So a better caption here might be something like:
“Democrats make sure we go to school to learn about crime and corruption, which are more important than learning to read and write . . .”
1. Democrats don’t understand that you need eight blocks to spell “democrat,” just like mommy doesn’t.
2. Democrats have illegitimate children with blue eyes and Ted-Kennedy-shaped heads, just like brown-eyed mommy does. (And don’t give me that recessive gene crap).
3. Democrats expose themselves in public, just like mommy does.
Democrats hide their stash on the children, just like their crack-whore Mommy does. (So that big bad elephant cop won’t haul her off to jail again?)
WTF is with the elephant in the “safe” picture? Hilarious!
Why is Mommy a Democrat? Because Mommy is dumber than a bucket of hair.
Those are some scary looking mutant/alien squirrels. See what tinfoil hats will do to your ears.
“Because Mommy doesn’t want us to ever grow up — just like Mommy didn’t.”
Democrats: The party for those who need a Mommy.
Why is Mommy a Dummycrat?
Because she was born in New Oleans to 3rd generation welfare recipient Dummycrat mutha who does not know who or where the father is.
She votes the Dummycrat way to make sure she gets her entitled share of hardworking taxpayer money.
She’ll raise her daughters to be dummycrats, though they’ll have 4 kids before they are old enough to vote.
an Utopia!
Nina, http://www.portoalegre2002.org
I’d be more concerned as to why mommy is a mutated talking squirrel before I’d be concerned with her political ideology.
Wow, what arrogance. Of course my Republican leanings mean I don’t want my kids to be educated or share.
It reminds me of a stupid shirt I saw on a hippie Mom when I took my son to Gymboree last year. It said:
“Because I care about my children, I vote Democratic.”
Implying, of course, that my Republican vote means I don’t care about my kids. Right. It is this kind of idiocy that poisons the national debate to such a degree that it makes any rational discussion futile.
I could have written his biography with no prior knowledge. Its self explanatory. I love the aspect that explains why no daddy squirrel: he doesn’t have a wife, but a partner.
http://littledemocrats.net/aboutus.html
Its ALL ABOUT US. 😉
***
Democrats make sure the whiny brats get to play with your toys, just like mommy does.
***
Democrats make it safe for thugs to steal your toys and kick your dog, just like mommy does.
***
Democrats make sure children can go to a public school to learn how to use drugs and deny their morals, just like mommy does.
“Mommy is a Democrat because she is an MSM journalist and she doesn’t want to lose her job.”
Democrats take your toys away from you by force and give them to people who spend their money on alcohol and illegal drugs, just like Mommy does.
Democrats keep you in a state of total dependence bordering on slavery, just like Mommy does.
Democrats use schools to indoctrinate children in a collectivist mentality so it’s easier to control them later on, just like Mommy does.
Which is also why you have no Daddy around
Democraps have your welfare check delivered to your door so you don’t have to walk to the box because “mommy” is to lazy.
Priceless (and damn near impossible to parody since it already reads as such)
“Keeping safe” is staying out of the way of elephants, eh? Well, I guess if THAT’s all that’s needed to be safe, Mommy Squirrel will be handing out the burkhas to little Sally Squirrel and teaching them how to be good dhimmis
Just like the Democrats
[rolls eyes]
On the “school” page the background image has a graduate standing on the steps of a college with a big sign next to him $160,000 Admission. Ooo…what subtle message of values is that trying to convey?
Democrats collect nuts, just like Mommy does..
Now I know why I love cats..
Democrats know what’s best for everyone, just like Mommy does.
1. Democrats ascribe to the socialist ideal of the redistribution of wealth, just like Mommy does.
2. Democrats confuse a foreign policy of appeasement with that of safety, just like Mommy does.
3. Democrats see schools as moonbat training camps for children, just like Mommy does.
I corrected all of the text, Kev. Read it here.
1. Democrats teach you to assume the posistion, just like “mommy” and his boy friend, Ted
2. Democrats want you fear those who are different, and convince you you’ll always be too small to have a voice without them (while the elephant doesn’t even notice or care, since he is too busy watching the crazy looking hobo)
3. Democrats send their kids to a marxist indoctrination, just like mommy does.
Mommy thinks it’s OK to let the wierd guy in the hat, who is a convicted child molester, go everywhere that children are within reach.
And make deals with the administrators of the $160,000 school, to be a “school teacher”.
That guy is really creepy!
*shaking head* This is beyond words…
Mommy is a Democrat for the same reason you don’t have more brothers and sisters. Thank goodness your Granny wasn’t one or none of us would be here.
First Pix:
Democrats demand socialism and that way, everyone gets to hold the toys at least once before they’re forced on someone else.
Second Pix:
Democrats teach fear and hate as political ideology and that way, just like Mommy does, hate and fear is what we feel when other people’s political ideologies pass us by.
Third Pix:
Democrats make sure that teachers and unions get ever increasing amounts of taxpayer dollars without taxpayers’ permission and that way, just like Mommy does, students continue to learn less and less and schools cost more and more.
Squirrels are rodents. Just in case anyone doesn’t already know that. I thought the “book” was parody, I really did.
Just replace the word “Democrats” with “Big Government”, and you pretty much have the Democratic party’s philosophy in a nutshell (pardon the pun).
Democrats make sure children go to public schools so that they can get an education suitable for Wal-Mart like Mommy
#1 Democrats want to take away your toys, then give them to the guys in their own “Special Club.”
#2 Mommy sees pink elephants *all* the time.
#3 Mommy is going to school to get her GED and get offa Welfare.
Is the ‘rich’ aka ‘evil Republican’ aka ‘gives more to charity than Democrats instead of taking money from others to give to charity on their behalf like Democrats’ woman in the top picture holding an elephant? I thought it was a dog, but it seems to have a trunk. Fortunately the man is reading about tax reform, he seems pretty content, heck with the cuts I’ll bet his company can hire some more people, although probably not the creepy guy that hangs around on park benches watching kids…
Did anyone notice that in the toys pic, three of the blocks spell out the word “RAT!“
Why is there a bum in a tattered trench coat and ballcap in the background? WTF?
I think the bum in the background is Al Gore after losing the 2000 election. Although he’s not ranting and raving like a lunatic (mayber he’s tired).
…because you’re mommy’s little baby, and you need mommy for everything. You need taken care of. You need protected. You’re not going anywhere. Without mommy you’d be cold and alone. You need mommy to watch you and make sure you are a good person. Wouldn’t that be nice, if mommy could watch everybody and make sure they were good people? Never betray mommy. I Said You Are Not Leaving. Mommy is watching you.
Why Daddy Is A Republican:
…because I want you to grow up believing that you can do amazing things if you try hard enough. I want you to know that there are such things as good and bad, and I want you to be able to tell the difference. I want you to be able to protect yourself and those others who need it. I want you to go out into the world and make it your own.
Some of these comments are just plain scary.
Funniest one is the first one, juvenile, but funny.
Interesting so many Wizbangers have issues with single parents.
#1) Mommy makes sure we will know how to bow before our Islamic overlords.
#2) Mommy is more afraid of Republicans than she is of flashers in the park.
#3) Mommy would never let the mouse know when it’s going to be squashed by a book.