It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
KERRY U R A BLOODSUCKING VULTURE TO STOOP AS LOW AS YOU DO YOU DISGUST ME
Kerry – “humm, so what the fuck am I gonna do on November 3rd, after I lose this thing.”
After another handful of ginsoaked raisins and a pitcher of beer, John can finally leave the bag off Terayza tonight.
John: (Thinking-(albeit an infrequent activity)) “She likes me I have a chance, I have a chance.”
Dana: (Thinking) “In the love department he’s definitely Smallville
Flip on (clap) (clap)
Flip off (clap) (clap)
Flip on Flip off
The Flip-flopper
The Reverend Moon chose my new bride wisely…
Yet another Kerry thought bubble:
Editors in Pajama
“Polls are looking up! I think I’ve won this battle. And weeks to spare. Maybe I can break Nixon 63%.”
No way she could be worth more than Terayza, not with all those medical bills.
Rick Holte beat me to the song, but:
Sing along, everybody!
“If you’re wealthy and you know it, clap your hands!”
yo, jmaster, I’m assuming you mean a “piece of the widow”?????
“Am I getting old???? Bill Clinton would have already had me undressed and across the podium already.”
“This guy really smells like an old man.”
“I wonder if stem cells could grow me a spine.”
Kerry: “Carville can’t mock me any more now. I had her and Clinton could only score a chunky intern.”
John Kerry sing along in an attempt to change his standings in the polls.
Pollin’ Alright
(To the tune of Feelin’ Alright: Joe Cocker)
Seems I’ve got to have a change of scheme
‘Cause ev’ry Nat’l Poll, leaves me feelin’ reamed.
The UN wants the leader that I could have been,
The liberals have gone away or so it seems.
gotta poll in front before I start to scream,
But Dubya’s got the floor and took away the lead.
You Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
Well, you Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
Well Swiftvets, you sure took away my pride,
And even now I say “Oh shit,” and wonder why,
When I think of ‘Nam, how that shrapnel made me cry,
can’t waste those four months, gotta prove I am their guy.
Voters’gotta start believin’ all my lies,
‘Cause the French believe; I should win the prize.
You Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
Well, you Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
The truth can be found in all my plans I say,
I can Flip-Flop you know, say I always felt that way.
But that was then; Now, it’s always different today,
Dubya just can f**k off, ’cause I’m here to stay.
‘Til voters see Chimpboy shouldn’t win the race.
Vote, John Kerry’s name, Vote, a longer face.
You Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
Well, you Pollin’ alright
I’m not Pollin’ too good myself.
(Yeah, yeah, not the best fit for this picture, but the shelf life of this dreck is down to about 10 days now, and it does fit the current poll situation)
Cigar??…….yea…cigar…….
OT
Watch anti-Kerry documentary STOLEN HONOR online for FREE now
http://johnkerrythenewsoldier.blogspot.com
I wish I had x-ray vision.
So she gets a check every time they play one of the Superman movies on cable?
Pssst, Hey Dana…
So there’s these three drunk guys on top of the Empire State Building…
Broken promises don’t upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
– Jack Handey
Kerry: Hmmm, let’s see … widowed! … younger! … hotter than teresa! …. net worth? … (sigh) For a minute there, she was almost perfect.
What IS the sound of four hands clapping?
KERRY: It was good for me. I wonder if it was good for her.
HER: My god, the things I have to do to make sure the chimp doesn’t win. If this douchebag loses, I’m going to have his gonads for breakfast.
…….and two heads rolling…
Senator John Kerry and Dana Reeve applaud as Senator Hillary Clinton delivers her plan promoting stem cell research by alleviating the overcrowding in orphanages. Senator Kerry later endorsed what he termed “Clinton’s modest proposal.”
Kerry: Did I mention that I was in Viet Nam?
Yes! Now walk away from the chair!
What did my prenup agreement say, exactly?
Kerry: I didn’t realize how many stem cells one could get from a beheading. Cool.
Hmmm. I wonder how much cash SHE’s got in the bank…
I shouldn’t have said I was “giddy” while I was holding that shotgun…
Editor:
You are correct, sir (or madam).
Senator John Franscoise Kerry and Ms.Reeve acknowledge the work of Dr.Lep Tu Soon of Cambodia who claims to have cured several lab rats of paralysis by injecting them with embryonic stem cells.An excited Dr. Soon exclaims:”It was twooly amazing,the rittle lats just jumped out of their rittle wheerchairs and started dancing…
John Kerry, a man to be remembered for just two things! Taking advantage of widows and taking the letters out of Ingenuity and Innovation!
It is possible to say he is enroute to take out the whole word American. I’m guessing these words didn’t fit the global litmus test!
her thought bubble: first I have to deal with a guy paralyzed from the neck down, now I’ve got to deal with this one who’s paralyzed from the neck up
As part of the Kerry campaign committee
Reporter
“How you doin’?”
[watching himself in camoflauge earlier in the day] Look at me, so manly and tough, I’m sure to win Ohio now! Golly, I am such a stud!
And the man who would be President applauded as he leaned back and smugly thought, “Oh yes . . . I dote my very presence!”
AFTER Teresa……………………
I’ve used another bitch, and she doesn’t even know it yet. I’m so nuanced!
It’s a bird? It’s a plane? No, it’s…a political prop!
“He’s flopping Right. If he flips Left on my shoulder I’ll slug him.”
“One plus two plus two plus one…”
While listening to Tey-Rey-SA speak, John Kerry eyes the women next to him and thinks, “Geez, I’ve got the best manicure here.”
Aren’t fetuses great? I think I’ll go home now and have one with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Immature submission:
Kerry lets one fly, and sits back to judge the quality, as his neighbor catches the first whiff…
French submission:
Kerry: Lets see, can I stick my nose any further in the air and still see what’s in front of me?
Submission the Chitlin’s won’t understand (and Vietnam Submission):
Kerry: Man, this chick is hot.. I wonder if she’ll be impressed with my Purple Hearts.
Glamor Submission (with special guest Botox):
Kerry: I’ve held this pose for 20 minutes now, I wonder if that photographer got a decent shot off yet, it’s not like my face is moving.