It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
Kerry gets the clap.
It’s a bird, no it’s a plane (er.. a plan) no it’s Waffleman
Oh to have integrety and be honest, then I wouldn’t have to remember which side of the issues I am on today.
I have more money than everyone in this room combined…worship me!
Kerry: Boy , I’d like to get in her pants.
Her: I wish George Bush was beside me.
Senator and Mrs. “Fictitious Action Hero”
“Damn, this chick looks an awful lot like my running mate.”
I bet nobody heard my ‘chair trumpet’..heheheh
Head tilt – check.
Phony look of understanding – check.
Now if I can only pull off “I feel your pain” I’m golden!
If I look at that mirror just right, I bet I can see down her blouse.
(AP) Kerry’s support for stem cell research was more than altruistic after learning that researchers are also looking into political spine reconstruction.
Due to a slick Karl Rove trick John Kerry lost most of the Slavic American vote as Ingety Invatio was a very rude comment indeed.
‘See, I told Clinton I’d get better looking interns.’
You know, Teresa is even ugly when she sits all the way in the back of the auditorium.
Sigh….if Teresa were half as good-looking as this woman I wouldn’t have to think of her money to get excited.
“It’s too bad Teresa is the only one in the family who gets to play with tomatoes, if you catch my drift.”
(both of them thinking, using a shared thought bubble)
That John Edwards has such nice hair… I want to just lick him all over!
– Kerry: …This is really sick….
– Mrs. Reeves: ….Yes…it is….but you wan’t to be president so quit whining….
Kerry thought-bubble: “What is it with me getting hard around new widows?”
“When this speech is over, I’m going to get my wife’s personal chef to braise that goose in a raisin sauce, and then have it served to me by my wife’s waitstaff. MMM, am I glad one of my wife’s servants shot one of those beautiful birds for me. I’m also grateful for the companion my wife hired for me so I don’t have to touch her any more.
Hey, is that camera reading my thoughts?”
What the hell is Clinton doing here and why is he staring at me….Wait- he’s looking at her. She’s trying not to look back…
I wonder if he put his stem in her cell? That bastard!Always one upping me.
Oooh, Mrs. Reeves, you’re a little monkey woman, aren’t you?
“Hmmmmm. I wouldn’t mind giving Dana a stem cell or two.”
“I’ll have to make sure to offer that to Tehran.”
– Kerry: …..Hmmmm… I wonder how long its been….
– Mrs. Reeves: ….I’ll bet I know what BotoxBoy is thinking……
The Senator and Dana Reeve display their approval and admiration at a screening of Senator Edwards hair combing video.
What was the name of that guy who played The Professor on Gilligan’s Island??? Ah man, this is gonna bug me all night!
“Lileth” leaves her psychiatric practice to join the Kerry campaign… (Frasier now voting (R))
“Lileth” leaves her psychiatric practice to join the Kerry campaign… (Frasier now voting (R))
“If only Christopher were still alive to be here today. All those hours retrofitting Cleland for a Battlebots fight, wasted.”
Mrs. Reeve: (Thinking) Kerry said he can raise ’em from the dead, so where’s Christopher?
Kerry: Keep clapping! I see some movement by the grave.
The audition for new First lady completed, he ponders his next move…
Kerry’s thinking…
“God bless that UN flag. So much better than the Stars and Stripes. Long may she wave!”
–>Wait, tell Inge and Ty there’s no T in AMERICAN INVASION.
–> Down under the “nK” banner, Kim Jong Il considers kidnapping Dana Reeve and whisking her off to his “Fortress of Sorritude”l.
After receiving his cosmetology certificate, John Edwards reveals his new look.
Kerry: hmmm…I wonder if Mama T will get one of her “girls” to make that delicious stuffed cornish with a chilled chiante for din-din?
Mrs. Reeves: If Superman could really fly, he’d be right about …there!
Wow! She’d be SO much better than Teresa!
Ker: Oh Crap! Now how did that secret plan go again?
“If you’re a Liar and you know it, clap your hand’s”!
Kerry thought bubble:
Hmm … Available and rich … way better looking than that ketchup bottle … maybe a White House wedding.
From the audience:
“Ma’am, I am very sorry about your husband, but, since you’re now saying that he didn’t respect my religious principles, and that you don’t, and that that guy next to you is lying about them, can I please have my donations back? I have two children who have spinal chord injuries and they need the money more than you do.”
From the two people occupying that stage:
A mutual, “NO!”
Roll a small ball of stem cells in the palms of your hands, like this, to make it nice and warm and chewy.
Kerry thought bubble:
“Gawl dang, I can
Mrs. Reeves thought bubble. Gee. Does anybody know what it’s like to spend an eternity with a useless stiff – sigh. Christopher was much more exciting than this guy.
Stem Cell research? That would be super!!
Kerry thought bubble. When are they going to talk about Kryptonite – that will be sore topic and I can put my arm around her!!
Think, think. Who was in Superman’s Coalition!!
Frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!
Displaying his newest campaign theme, John Kerry is now to be known as the “American Ingety-intio”, which is Latin for ” deluded man of paddy cakes”.
Hmmm, if she’s impressed by my purple hearts she’ll probably love my purple helmet.
Her: “Did I leave the curling iron on?”
Him: “Did John Edwards leave the curling iron on in the motor coach?”
“I’ll bet she hasn’t gotten any in awhile. Looks like another job for The Widowmaker, if you know what I mean!”
Have I really sunk so low as to drag a widow out of mourning? I have, I really have…good times…good times…