Weekend Caption Contest™

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1. tony October 23, 2004

   “That whole ‘Chris Reeve will walk again’ line was garbage. But you know, I *can* still get the little sergeant to salute, if you catch my drift.”
2. tony October 23, 2004

   “Ya know, I forgot to save the number on my cell phone when Chris called me last Satu..err…Fr…uh… anyway, what do ya say you give the ol’ Senator some digits? Here, the back of this Silver Star certificate should do just fine.”
3. Clioman October 23, 2004

   :She loves me. That makes two of us.:
4. Spanky October 23, 2004

   Laura Lee–Nice “Clue” reference!
5. Stephen W. Stanton October 23, 2004

   I don’t know what those two “I” words mean, but the crowd seems to love ’em. I’ll work them into my next few speeches.
6. Stephen Macklin October 23, 2004

   I have this memory my mother in her hospital bed when I told her I was going to run for president.

   She looked up at me and said innovation, innovation, innovation.
7. The WASP October 23, 2004

   Kerry thought bubble:

   only the government can solve problems, yes, that’s it, only the government…
8. Keith W. Peterson October 23, 2004

   Thank God this womans husband died…
   I could get a boost in the polls from it!
9. martinphilbrook October 23, 2004

   I wonder if kryptonite would render her useless?
10. martinphilbrook October 23, 2004

    I wonder if she ever heard the one about the invisible man and wonderwoman doing it when superman looked down and saw them doing it and….
11. Dean Satterlee October 23, 2004

    Kerry (singing in his head) – “Can you read my mind?”
12. m October 23, 2004

    JK: Yep. They fell for that one, too. Hook, line, and … it’s like shooting fish in a…
    DR: Oh. My. God. Get. Me. Out of. Here. Now.
13. Jinx McHue October 23, 2004

    Kerry: Dammit! I’ve stuffed chopped onions up my nose, rolled in cat dander, put my naughty bits in a vice, and jammed bamboo slivers under my toenails and I STILL can’t whip up any fake tears over Chris’ death. Guess I’ll just have to resort to my usual lame “pensive” look. Let’s see. How did I do that again? Lips tightened. Eyebrows up. OW! My botox!
14. Beth October 23, 2004

    “Hmmm I wonder if I cooked my goose”
15. Gasgasman October 23, 2004

    Man, I should have started coming to Chippendales years ago!
16. wbaker October 23, 2004

    Kerry: Hmmm…I wonder how much this chick’s worth? Afterall she is available now, and that damed Theresa’s been quite the bitch lately…
17. bullwinkle October 23, 2004

    “This babe scores much higher than Teresa on my ‘global test’, it’s a damn shame she doesn’t satisfy my economic plan.”
18. PoliArt October 23, 2004

    Golf clap? Golf clap.
19. Jordan October 23, 2004

    “Huh… that Arafat guy makes sense… maybe I should hire him to reach out to militants…”
20. Charles V October 23, 2004

    Hmmmm.. I got an erection.
21. Newshound October 24, 2004

    “Kerry caught blocking American ingenuity and innovation!”
22. Rodney Dill October 24, 2004

    Much as with the saving of Tinkerbell from poisoning, this rally had the makings of a true fairy tale ending, but in the end neither the clapping nor Teresa’s gin inspired mantra of “Tink ‘appy tawts” could reverse the demise of Christopher Reeves or the Kerry Campaign.
23. Rodney Dill October 24, 2004

    (More black humor)

    John: “Well Dana, what are my chances?’
    Dana: “Both my Chris, and Paul Wellstone are now polling higher than you, so I think its clear what needs to be done.”
24. McCain October 24, 2004

    At the opening of mosquito hunting season in Minnesota, John Kerry slaps the legal limit of one mosquito, and so did each of his hunting buddies.
25. McCain October 24, 2004

    Always seeking to expand his constituencies, John Kerry attends the annual convention of bodyless humans. While unable to nod approvingly (see background), they gaze attentively as Senator Kerry educates them on the proper use of arms.
26. Kevin October 26, 2004

    Update: Winners announced. Comments now closed.
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