Play Me My Song… Here It Comes Again

Last night, Michele Bachmann visited Jimmy Fallon’s late-night talk show and, by all accounts, had a good chat with him. But after the show aired, a lot of people weren’t talking about what she said or did, but what happened as she walked on stage — Fallon’s band chose to welcome her with a song entitled “Lyin’ Ass Bitch.”


Let’s get a few things out of the way — Fallon owes Bachmann one big-ass apology, his band needs to be smacked down real hard, and no other Republican candidate should even think about going on his show until after that happens.


Now that that’s settled, I can indulge one of my favorite pastimes — where I say “OK, this is the new standard. How do we want to play with it?”


Let’s think about what sorts of songs would be appropriate to play when liberal public figures come on stage.


Michelle Obama: Black Betty

Alternate: Eat It

Hillary Clinton: The Bitch Is Back

Barack Obama: Won’t Get Fooled Again

Alternate: Everybody Wants To Rule The World

Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MI): Ahab The Arab

Bill Clinton: Next Time He Cheats

Joe Biden: Hole In My Head

Nancy Pelosi: Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead

Eric Holder: Lawyers, Guns, And Money


OK, there are a few to get the ball rolling. Have at it, folks!


Update: Jimmy Fallon has just tweeted that “questlove,” the band leader who Tweeted out an alert to pay attention to the song, has been “grounded.” Whether that’s just him or the whole band is not clear, but it’s something. And expect a serious apology from Fallon tonight to all seven of his viewers.  But I don’t care — have at it, folks!

However, in light of that, I’m formally taking Dennis Leary’s “I’m An Asshole” off the boards for Fallon. It certainly fits band leader Amir “Questlove” Thompson, though.

CRU-Gate Letters, Part II
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