It’s Friday, which of course means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
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About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
Teresa Heinz Kerry illustrating how John is going to wave his hands and make everyone’s problems disappear.
Master of None:[ I “ment”RAISIN.] Now either you and BlooDog are the same person or you are getting “sloshed togrther”.
‘And Bush doesn’t want you to be able get cheap raisins and gin from Canada.’
Arrangement: Moon(bat)Shallow
Artist: Cat’s Heavin’
Yes
Dubya’s sequestered old Osama
Bin Laden,
Bin Laden
keepin’ and hidin’ that Osama
Bin Laden,
Bin Laden
And
If Dubya brings Bin Laden out
Voter’s will scream,
“he got that lout,”
If Dubya brings Bin Laden out
and if…
I won’t make it to the Whitehouse door.
Yes
Dubya’s sequestered old Osama
Bin Laden,
Bin Laden
keepin’ and hidin’ that Osama
Bin Laden,
Bin Laden
Oh
If Dubya makes fun of John’s Iraq Plan
Folks will see,
he should get canned
If Dubya make fun of John’s Iraq Plan
Oh if…
I can still make that Whitehouse Score.
Yes
Dubya’s sequestered old Osama
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
keepin’ and hidin’ that Osama
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
Oh
If old Osama should get away
I’ll have something strong to say
If that Osama should get away
O if….
I’ll tell Dubya, SHOVE IT…
John’s got the plan to run it, don’t be fooled by Dubya’s right.
It won’t cost much to fund it, vote for John election night.
Yes
Dubya’s sequestered old Osama
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
keepin’ and hidin’ that Osama
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
Bin Laden, Bin Laden
(I know, I know, the only artist you like less than Boy George is Cat Stevent)
Make that Cat Stevens
DRUDGE BREAKING: Reuters photo has offered this visual evidence the Yasser Arafat’s recent sex change operation was indeed a success…. maybe.
I never called Bush a pig! I just said that after the election he could have a successful career hunting for truffles on my estate in France.
“Yea, I say unto thee, Nov. 2nd, all yee afflicted with unspeakable sickness, shall be HEELED.!”
or
“John was only this tall when I met him, but his head was really huge.” I said, “John, get off your knees, I’m not Ted Kennedy.”
“If you tink Boosh’s father made a big splash on dat Japanese prime minister, just you vait until I get fallink down shnockered at der inauguration! I’ll get der revenge on dose Supreme Court ninnies for shtealink der election four years ago!”
OK, idiots go over there on the right, near the scumbags. You people on the left, please ignore the scumbags and idiots.
Johnny, Johnny, that’s who you should vote for
He gives me something I can hold on to
I know you’ll think he’s like the others before
Who promised you the moon, gave nothing at all
Johnny has got your number
He should rule over you swine
Voting for Boosh would be dumber
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
Johnny, Johnny he’s the boy for you
Voting for him would make me so happy
He voted for it before
But he lost his nerve
He’ll be a better leader
Than you peasants deserve
Johnny has got your number
He should rule over you swine
Voting for Boosh would be dumber
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
He’s got it (He’s got it), He’s got it
He’s got a surplus of gall
He’s got it (He’s got it), He’s got it
For the last time
For the last time call
Johnny has got your number
He should rule over you swine
Voting for Boosh would be dumber
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
Kerry-Edvards 2004 (Kerry-Edvards 2004)
(rapping)
Its like this and like that and like this and uh…
“This campaigning jaunt is much more pleasant after the Valium kicks in.”
Put it this way fellas…when I’m done being first lady you’re gonna BEG for that Hillary bitch to come back.
My name is Teresa and I’m an alcoholic.
I started innocently with just one or two raisins after lunch, then five, and now its nine raisins everyday. Not those common black raisins. Those exquisite white raisins soaked in gin. Oh! How I wish I had a raisin right now!
I once had a husband this tall.
“Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind)”
MahaRichie at his regular Tuesday night gig, where he/she once again had the enjoyable opportunity of entertaining regular folks with material that we can confidently say, is not well thought out, not unique and very obtuse… unfortunately, those in attendance were not entertained and asked for their money back….
The scumbags misquote me. Don’t they understand Mozambique accent? I did not say soak raisins, I say soak peasants.
my hand isn’t shaking
I’m sorry, I thought Halloween was TODAY…
Nevermind…
Okay, imagine Johnny walking around with his hands out like this saying, “Uhhh-hhh-ohhhh.”
Come’on… Lurch… Am I right? You know I’m right…
When will IIIIIIII, Beeeeeeeeeeeeee …. Loooooooooooved?
Who else wants a pat on the head?
Here with you, I feel like Martha.
you can see what John Kerry has done for me today…imagine what could happen tomorrow.
Madame Toussaud’s Wax Museum will be closed today pending repair of their air conditioning system.
“Once again, I’ve been rode hard and put up wet…..”
-gdr-
Zeven gin-soaked raisins a day und I could CRUSH Laura Bush’s schkull vit no pain in my kinuckles….
Datz eet ! Security…remove dat idiot in the turd row…ya, da one drooling and pounding on dee drum….WHO in dee world goes around wearing ladeez panties on dare head in public??? and vot da hell does..Maha is not a good man suppose to mean???…Datz eet ..get him outta here…
As I walk through my mansion in the south of France
I take a look at my John and realise there’s not much left
Cause I’ve been brassing and laughing so long that
Even my hubby thinks that my mind is gone
But I ain
“Brains! BRAAAAAAAINS!”
“Our opponent displays a certain disingenuity in his plans, his strategies, and in his creativity to succeed. He displays a certain knack for NOT being able to get the job done. He doesn’t have the skills, the knowledge, nor especially the timing for the job. He resents our popularity and can’t handle the truth that others don’t flock to his values and beliefs. He has resorted to viscious lies and personal attacks when confronted with the blunt truth… What, No I’m not talking Dubya and the presidential election, I’m tellin’ you about MamaBitchie and the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest. “
In the end John Kerry’s downfall would not be the debates, nor the swiftvet ads. His loss would later be attributed the fact that Rodney Dangerfield had started channeling throught Teresa Heinz Kerry.
“Tonight I would just like to apologize for my husbands remarks about Dick Cheney’s daughter, that was a low blow. And, speaking of low blows, Mary, how’s business.” (rimshot)
And then I wiggle my fingers like this and it makes John move like this…or wait…maybe it was like this…screw it, I can’t remember. You’re all unamerican anyway. I didn’t say that you scumbags so SHOVE IT. Oh God my head hurts. Where are my raisins?
Yep…the bag of money John left me was this high!
And this is how much I was gonna leave John until he started on his mother and that integrity integrity bull****.
“…and this microphone is about right. None of those Clinton cigars in my mansion.”
“The pile of skulls of my victims is about this high. Why do you ask?”
“I taught the Emperor how to shoot lighting from his hands in Return of the Jedi. Don’t make me demonstrate, ’cause it won’t be pretty.”
Thank Heav’n
For leetle girls …
When my domestic partner is elected, there’ll be stem cells soaked in the finest gin for everyone!!
Darlings.. please just do as John says he’s much smarter than you are , after all he married me didn’t he..
the diamond on this finger is so big I can’t raise my hand over my head, don’t you just hate that..
“But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan’s apprentice, Dick Cheney.”
…and so taxes are for little people. You know, scumbags about this tall.
“One word: plastics!”
Those of you who didn’t register to vote at least 20 times, pickup your Kool-Aid from the table on my right.
“Eef everyone here will zjust vote theese many times eeeach, zere will be a big day for all. But first, it will be my big day. THEN you can all enjoy YOUR big day. But, mine firszt. Next, John. Then yours.”
“….and as the alien spacecraft hovered over me like this, the hatch doors opened and a blinding light drew me inside.”
Thank you Maha. It makes me happy to know that a least one other person appreciates what I have done.
But I have to give this contest to the poster who observed that the microphone looks like John Kerry from behind. It really does!