I'm getting dizzy here…

(Note: this piece was inspired by listening to John Kerry try to talk his way out of his latest outburst of narcissistic idiocy, and various and sundry moonbats defend him yet again.)

Help me out here, folks. I’m trying to keep up on the Democrats’ position on things, and I think I have them wrong.

1) Military service, and especially what one did or did not do during the Viet Nam war, is irrelevant when running for president. (1992, 1996)

2) What one did during the Viet Nam war is far more important than what one has done in the 30+ years since, when running for president. (2004)

3) Sexual relations between consenting people of legal age, regardless of their positions of authority, are strictly a private matter. (1983, 1998)

4) Sexual communications between consenting people of legal age, when one is or was in a position of authority over the other, is a grave offense. (2006)

5) Saddam Hussein really, really, really needed to be removed from power. (1993-2001, 1998 especially)

6)…but not by the United States. (2003-2006)

7) A politician who allegedly says “nigger” in his college days is an irredeemable racist. (2004)

8) A former leader of the Ku Klux Klan who is still using the word “nigger” is not only an acceptable Senator, but should be considered a champion and lion of the Senate. (2001)

9) An arrest at the age of 30 for drunken driving brands someone an irredeemable alcoholic. (2000)

10) Driving a car into the water and leaving a woman to drown while trying to construct an alibi is an “unfortunate accident.” (1969)

11) A president who wears his religious faith on his sleeve is a good thing. (1976)

12) A president who openly professes his faith is a dangerous thing. (2000, 2004)

13) Religious leaders are moral exemplars and should be listened to on public policy matters. (Jackson, Sharpton)

14) Religious leaders who meddle in politics are violating the “separation of church and state” and the spirit of the 1st Amendment. (Robertson, Falwell)

There’s gotta be some kind of explanation for this. I guess I just can’t think in the properly-nuanced fashion.

Wizbang Halloween Caption Contest
I Don't Know How Much Karl Rove is Paying John Kerry...

35 Comments

  1. steak111111 October 31, 2006
  2. Mitchell October 31, 2006
  3. Falze October 31, 2006
  4. suhnami October 31, 2006
  5. Retread October 31, 2006
  6. CUS October 31, 2006
  7. Scott October 31, 2006
  8. Matt October 31, 2006
  9. Old Coot October 31, 2006
  10. Brian October 31, 2006
  11. steak111111 October 31, 2006
  12. steak111111 October 31, 2006
  13. jdavenport October 31, 2006
  14. Gmac October 31, 2006
  15. suhnami October 31, 2006
  16. Billy Hollis October 31, 2006
  17. Steve Crickmore October 31, 2006
  18. Chris is Bliss October 31, 2006
  19. Falze October 31, 2006
  20. jdavenport October 31, 2006
  21. Mitchell October 31, 2006
  22. Mitchell October 31, 2006
  23. Jay Tea October 31, 2006
  24. Sal Manella October 31, 2006
  25. Richard Burns October 31, 2006
  26. Richard Burns October 31, 2006
  27. Mitchell October 31, 2006
  28. Brian October 31, 2006
  29. Mitchell October 31, 2006
  30. Brian November 1, 2006
  31. steak111111 November 1, 2006
  32. steak111111 November 1, 2006
  33. Robert November 1, 2006
  34. Robert November 1, 2006
  35. Lisa November 2, 2006