When pimps fight pimps, we all win

I’ve never been much “up” on current slang, and I really don’t mind that. But certain words that have become popular and more widely accepted still bother me a great deal.

One of those is “pimp.”

I don’t understand how anyone can think of that term in anything other than a derogatory sense. At its essence, it’s a man who controls and practically enslaves women, usually through force or drugs or some other illicit means. The kind of man who would do that sort of thing is among the lowest of scum to me, the type I would cheerfully get run over by a freight train or trampled by shoppers the day after Thanksgiving or — to indulge my personal favorite revenge fantasy — “napalm enema.”

So when I see a show called “Pimp My Ride” or hear someone use “pimpin'” as a form of praise, it turns my stomach (and that’s a fairly significant seismic event). I want to remind them just what the term means, what those so-called men do.

And now, I’d like to make them read this story.

Pimps killing each other on the streets? I am appalled. Let’s get them a nice, safe place where they can settle their differences without bothering the rest of us — say, a meat-packing plant or something.

The survivors, we can feed to piranhas.

Senateers and Chandeliers
A hint on the WMD question
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  1. Dan November 17, 2005
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