It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
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About The Author
Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
“Sorry for laughing sir, but from this angle you really ARE shaped like a pear…”
“See? The shadow of my hand on the piece of paper looks like a puppy dog. Woof! Woof!”
“Oh sure, it’s good, but it’s not quite ‘Michael Moore’ good. Can you re-write it to tie in the Saudis somehow?”
Are readers allowed to vote? I’m still laughing over P. Zrimsek’s “Fake a letter, Maria” above.
and this time can you type it?
Here you go son, a freshly autographed naked picture of… ME!
Les….Do me a favor…fax my resume over to Drudge…I heard he is hiring.
Fuck the legal department! I decide what’s news around here.
No, no, no. Type these on blue paper, it shows up better on TV.
George Crile XVIIXII? No good. Get me new underwear, looser suspenders and I need the orange frightwig, before I debut as weatherman on GOOD MORNING AMERICA.
Yes, Mr. Redstone, my letter of resignation is authentic.
I don’t give a damn what the figures show, I make more than Peter Jennings.
This CANNOT be the diet my doctor prescribed. Call him and have him re-fax it over. Mary-Kate would have this just for a snack.
Dan: “Why does this just say RATHER’S ASS?”
Producer: “It’s from Les Moonves. It’s his lunch order.”
(Last one, I promise).
You’re kidding right? You want me to do a story about a missing dog in Paris? Her name is Paris? What the hell!?! Here. Give it to Mike Wallace — Mikey will do it, he takes everything.
From a guy on the street, you say? A raving derelict. Well, that’s good enough from me.
This is one hell of an important story, and we can’t wait for “authentication.” Let’s run it as our lead tonight: “Found, after 60 years — Hitler’s Blog!”
What do you expect me to do with this phony crap?
…
Ju-u-u-u-u-st kidding!!
“Fax from President Bush for ya, Dan.”
“Hmmm…What does that mean, ‘Punkd'”?
“How can I be sure this is authentic?”
“Because I just printed it.”
… and here’s your “CYA” memo to file, Mr. Rather.
Type this up. And double check my spelling of “Killian”, would ya?
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall……
Just type it like I wrote it. Its Grp not GOP.
I don’t care just turn the automatic spell check off and get it done.
You mean I was wrong?
“Oh, it is you. I thought it was just one of those damn voices inside my head.”
“Those are the directors speaking through your earpiece, Dan.”
“Sure, that’s what they want me to think.”
Okay, now prepare a similar memo from a deceased document expert attesting to the authenticity of this first memo.
“I can tell by my journalistic feel that this paper was manufactured between March 15th and March 29th by Weyerhauser in Georgia from soft pine harvested just over three years ago. And they have a slight oil leak in the rollers. Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Are you going to take my crayons away too?”
“Here you go son. You know, the fact that I held this piece of paper is probably enough to get you through college.”
The wrong memo, in the wrong time, in the wrong place.
“Uh, by the way, Dan… Could you come upstairs and bring everything in your desk?”
Of course they’re authentic, I got them from Pierre Salinger.
Memo to Dan:
The ring has been thrown into Mount Doom by the bloggers, and the great eye is coming down.
Rumple this and the other papers up right now and shove ’em up Berger’s ass and get him THE HELL OUTTA the building..we gotta commercial gogogogo
“…No you asshole thats not a flag behind my head commenting on the state of my brain….”
“…Ok….we’ll run with it…but you tell MCauliffe that I get wall to wall first person interviews for the next four years…”
“Copy this until its barely readable and run it….then bring me that moon wookie from Whizbang so we can have a lip party….”
“Get Mr. Magoo and Ray Charles on the line – we got document verification to do!”
Thanks, Clippy!!
Here’s the copy of John Kerry’s citation for the Medal of Honor. Did I spell kourage right?
Go back and tweak this one a little bit, will ya? I can tell it’s got Sandy Berger’s dribblin’s on this copy……
“Berger’s pants, huh? I guess that brown spot explains why they call this a “smear” campaign.”
This looks great Baghdad Bob! I particularly like the CYA angle. You’re really fitting in quite nicely. Do me another quickie and run down to the deli and get me a ham and swiss on wheat. And tell them to make sure I don’t get a limp pickle this time.
Yeah, so, I’ve put on a few pounds…so?
I’m in shape, pear is a shape.
No…Michale Moore is the fat guy in BAD clothes, and I’m not going to shake your hand either.
“Now, son, I like you and I think you’ll go far at this network. But you really have to get with the program and understand where we’re coming from…we don’t use real documents ’round here.”
“Here’s the frequency. Distribute it to everyone but Kenneth.”
Call John Edwards. I need a lawyer.
Oh, and I like your new suit of clothes, Mr. Rather.
Let’s win one for the Flipper.
Is “sugar coat” one word or two?
Is “sugar coat” one word or two?
Here’s my caption for Wizbang’s WCC…now; where the Hell am I?
…this predicts Miami over FSU in overtime?
Hows this one look?
“You say this is a 1973 blog posting by Col. Killian that corroborates the memo? Excellent! This should silence our critics once and for all.”