It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
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Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
“Dammit, you STILL don’t have the signature right! “
I do TO get a raise. See? I have a letter from the Network President right here! And here is another on from my doctor that proves I AM Superman. And another on from my wife stating that I go ALL night long with my 18 inch…
Is this authentic Mr Bill?
Tell the monks up in the calligraphy dept. I need more copies, pronto!
Wish Bill Paley would spend a couple of bucks and get us electric typewriters.
This is powerful! Ironclad proof Bush designed both the Pinto & Vega.
Good thing I picked up that IBM Selectrics for Dummies book the other week.
Quick. Get this to Wm. Randolph Hearst for fact checking.
Tell that Gutenburg guy to get the superscript right this time.
I knew that outsourced Cambodian printshop with all that fancy equipment would pay off for John and I eventually. Those stupid bloggers aren’t the only folks who wear pajamas!!
Have Marcel check the authenticity of Les Moonves’ signature on this severance check.
Fresh from my butt: More steamy allegations. I’m no brownshirt. (My pants are another story.)
This story is going to boost my career, get Kerry elected, and destroy the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. Or not.
– – – – – –
Fox News: We report. You decide.
CBS News: We report. You spend less than 15 minutes on Google exposing us as the lazy, dishonest partisan hacks we really are.
Retype this on a Smith-Corona, please.
OK, you caught me making up this one you sneak, but all the rest is gospel. If a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a hand gun. Trust me.
Rather: Are you sure Bush is steering Hurricanes into Democratic sctions of Florida?
Lacky: It’ all in this memo from Al Gore.
Rather: We lead with this.
“God Dammit, I’m in charge, now take this li.. I mean manuscript and push it, and stop calling me Sisyphus.”
“Now that is comes to mind the network was thinking more along the line of a long sabbatical rather than a short recess.
“To err is human but to really foul up requires a computer.” Author: Dan Rather
Did I really write that? Do me a favor….Give it a run thru Word for me……See if spellchecker can change computer to pooter.
To err is human but to really foul up requires a pooter…
yeah….thats the ticket….
Hurry you have 62 minutes to sugarcoat this!
“Here, let’s run with this, its an authentic email from Barbara Bush, to Dubya’s grade school teachers, saying he’ll never amount to much.”
Hey, I think I’ve got his signature down. How’s it look?
“Tell Kerry that I want a pair of hookers so thin that I oughtta be able to fax tham back when I’m done with them.”
“Uh, Mr. Rather, this National Guard document is not really authentic.”
“That’s OK, I’m not really Dan Rather.”
(ripping off false face mask, revealing Bob Uecker)
Quote from the MC at Dan Rather’s retirement party later this month:
“…Here we see Dan as he submits a request for the CBS “Eye for an Eye” Purple Heart. Dan went on to win that award after it was determined the wound was self-inflicted.
[For those missing the pun…the CBS logo is an eye.]
“Yes, I know this document looks like information that is extremely damaging to Dubya and the RNC, and Yes, I know that looks like Ronald Reagan’s signature. Just do as I say and slip this onto Terry McAuliffe’s desk. I’m gonna get even with that F**ker.”
“God, I love the smell of toner in the morning…
It smells like Victory.”
“Oh, Mr. Rather, I caught a mistake on this letter to Kerry and McAuliffe. You signed this letter with your own signature by mistake.”
“No, I meant to sign this one.”
“Did you know that astute is really spelled A-S-T-U-T-E.”
“Yes, I did, I really did mean to call those two a couple of Ass Toots“
Yikes! Breaking news about a huge cloud in N Korea! Where’s Kerry been? This looks suspiciously like his M.O. Call Mrs Fields Cookies and verify with Rassmann; he and Kerry get along swimmingly. We don’t wanna alarm folks needlessly if he’s just been fragging rice piles again.
Would ya look at this? Ramsey Clark is gonna represent Kerry and Fonda at their treason trial. Wonder if he handles libel and forgery cases, too?
Let’s put lipstick on this pig. Roll camera.
What a scoop this is! I could get promoted from Anchor (jg). Its Kerry’s secret Iraq plan; pure genius! Gonna establish a special medal; 3 microscopic nicks shaving beard or legs equals a trip home; will have the all troops home for the Super Bowl.
I checked and there is nothing in my contract that forbids me from wearing a mini version of the RNC screen attached to my head for a fee.
See? BS!
60 minutes: more than just the name of the newsmagazine, it’s out fact check time limit.
Here, feel this memo. Now, doesn’t that just FEEEEL authentic? What more proof could anybody need?
Offscreen: “Wassup, Dan?”
Dan: “Word!”
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.