This morning’s Boston Herald featured the story of one Wayne Conley. Mr. Conley is currently on parole for a drug conviction, and one of the conditions of his freedom is attending a drug rehabilitation program — which regularly tests participants for drugs.
Mr. Conley had been warned that if he flunked one more test, he would be thrown out. And he knew he would flunk that test, so he tried to “cheat”. He offered his daughter’s seven-year-old cousin a hamburger and fries in exchange for a cup of her urine that he would submit as his own.
But he was a bit more clever than most. He knew that her sample would be too “clean.” As part of his treatment from the clinic, he was supposed to be taking Suboxone, a drug given to treat heroin addicts. So he gave the little girl the drug. But he gave her his dosage — a full adult’s size.
She didn’t take it well. She ended up hallucinating, vomiting uncontrollably, and nearly dying. When the true story finally came out, Conley was sent to jail for three to four years in prison for his twisted scheme.
But one good thing did come out of this. The prosecutor who put him behind bars got Massachusetts to reclassify Suboxone, so now the penalties for misusing it are equivalent to those for cocaine. If anyone else tries to pull what Conley did, they’ll be facing three to four years for just that distributing drugs to a minor” part — on top of the “reckless endangerment of a child” and “assault and battery on a child” charges he was also sent up the river for.
But then again, this is Massachusetts. I fully expect he’ll be free again in about two years or so, looking for a new way to scam a drug test.
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What a LOSER
When I read your headline, I thought this was going to be about Rove again…
But then again, this is Massachusetts. I fully expect he’ll be free again in about two years or so, looking for a new way to scam a drug test.
I’m shocked – disgusted – at this statement. I’m from Massachusetts, born and raised, and take serious issue with statements like this regarding the Masschusetts penal system. To imply that he’ll be free again in about two years on a 4 year sentence is ludicrous.
He’ll be out in a couple of months. Cripes, this Massachusetts we’re talking about.
My wife is the manager of a medical lab, and I get my daily giggles from listening to the stories she tells about how people think they can cheat a drug test. Believe me, the lab people know every trick in the book: substituting someone else’s urine, making up “urine” from water and food coloring and fertilizer, adding bleach to the urine, etc. They know ’em all, and they can tell. And there are no magical “anti-drugs” that can mask the presence of a drug in a test either. These days, serious drug testing is performed using chromotography / mass spectrometry techniques, which are pretty much impossible to fool, no matter how many green M&Ms one eats.
I have no idea how I would do on a chromotography / mass spectrometry urine test, and I doubt I could pass a hair test without a donation to Locks of Love, but I have no trouble with the cheap cups with the strips up the side. This is despite the fact that my drug of choice, marijuana, shows up far longer than the white powdery substances. My technique is very simple. When I am job hunting and anticipate being tested, I abstain from all illegal substances, painkillers from expired prescriptions, and baked goods containing poppy seeds. That last one is especially important; overlooking it has ruined people’s lives.
From what I’ve heard, suboxone is working well in Europe, but U.S. doctors are afraid to prescribe a large enough dose to be effective. Perhaps it’s because they fear being accused of “dealing drugs”?
I agree with your title — when someone is that obviously guilty, that reckless, and that dangerous to our communities — they should just break out the rope.
Like this guy.
what, no trial? I thought all of you agreed that everyone is innocent, until proven guilty. Oh wait, im sorry, that was just if you are in the Bush Administration. Sorry… but seriously, the guy is a moron, and deserves more than he got.