See if you can keep up

Mike at Cold Fury is about to walk us through the maze that is the liberal mind:

Infantile_liberal_minds_license_plate_frameOkay, let me see if I have all this straight. Bill Clinton, a white Southerner, was the first black president. Obama, an apparently straight guy, is the first gay president. George Zimmerman, a Hispanic, is a white guy. Elizabeth Warren, the whitest white woman anybody ever saw, is an Injun.

Andrew Sullivan, a liberal, considers himself the last “true conservative.” The Democrat Socialists, left-wingers to a fault, consider themselves “centrist” or “moderate,” and Mitt Romney, who is a liberal, is a “right-wing extremist.” Of course, Mittens calls himself a “severe conservative,” although nobody really believes it. Not even the Democrat Socialists.

The overwhelming majority of people who call themselves “journalists” actually function as advocates, while laughably declaiming their unbiased impartiality to anyone gullible enough to buy it. Violent OWS revolutionaries are “mostly peaceful.” Layabouts who collect government benefits are “hard-working Americans,” and people who actually want to work but can’t find a job in the Obama Depression and have abandoned all hope aren’t even counted as unemployed at all. More than three straight years of economic stagnation in the Obama Depression is some kind of “recovery,” and as for the real people whose lives have been marred by the inevitable and predictable result of Obama’s muttonheaded policies, “you’d think they’d be saying thank you.”

Families of four who make a combined 250k a year are “the rich,” and the top one percent of income earners who actually pay the overwhelming majority of taxes aren’t paying “their fair share” and “have no skin in the game.” Hollywood rich people worth bajillions perfectly comprehend the travails of workaday Americans and portray them with unfailing accuracy in movies and on TV, but Romney, who actually has done useful work and created lots of jobs in his life, is “out of touch.” And those same rich Hollywood pigs squeal “tax me more!” but never, ever avail themselves of an existing IRS program that affords them the opportunity to pay as much as they like, anytime they feel like taking advantage of it.

The people who rule us with an iron fist, governing against the clearly-expressed will of the people as often as not, are “public servants.” Fossil fuels, of which America has more than any other nation in the world, are “unsustainable,” while unworkable and expensive alternatives like solar and electric cars are what we should be relying on instead. Windmills, which date back to the 15th century or thereabouts, are the way of the future. Just as “progressive” ideas, which have been toxifying the body politic for more than a hundred years now and were not only precursors to fascism (now assumed to be a “right-wing” phenomenon, even though it was implemented and advocated mostly by left-wingers) but representative of some of the worst instincts of the feudal era, are “new” and “forward-thinking” and…well, progressive.

There’s no one more illiberal than a liberal…

I don’t know about you but I think I sprained something reading through that… which I’ll take as an indication that my threshold for nonsense is still in place.

Thank almighty God.

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