Earlier today, Kevin mentioned the latest update on the Karl Rove non-indictment. Based on a sealed court document, named “06 cr 128,” “Sealed vs. sealed,” Truthout (alias “Out of Truth, so we’re just making shit up”) says that this is the double secret Karl Rove indictment.
Well, I have my own sources in the Justice Department, and they tell me that “06 cr 128” is actually a civil case. It’s actually “Abu Hamza al-Muhajir v. Abu al-Does 1-9.”
Abu Hamza al-Muhajir is the new leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq. But he didn’t seek out that position.
It turns out that he was one of ten top Al Qaeda leaders in Iraq who met recently to choose a successor to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, after he got well and thoroughly pulped by the US Air Force. The discussion was quite heated — weapons were reached for several times. But after hours of heated discourse, al-Muhajir finally succumbed to the call of nature and retreated to the bathroom. When he returned, he found out he had been elected to hold the #1 spot on the US hit list in Iraq.
Naturally, Mr. al-Mujahir didn’t appreciate the honor. But instead of settling the matter in the traditional fashion (gun, bomb, or beheading), he sought justice in the American court system. He is demanding that a new vote be held, with him present, so he can get someone else to sit on the bullseye.
Jimmy Carter has already volunteered to oversee the new election.