Here in New Hampshire, we have our share of asshats. The latest example I’ve found is this Driver’s Education teacher down in Nashua who was arrested for drunk driving while on his way to pick up students.
But we are, at best, gifted amateurs at asshattery. The real pros are found just south of us, in Massachusetts.
The latest example I’ve found is in Lawrence, Massachusetts. Lawrence is, to put it mildly, a pit. It’s got issues with gangs, corruption, drugs, violence, poverty, illegal immigrants, and pretty much every other subcategory of “urban blight.” For years it was known as the auto insurance fraud capital, until about a year ago a grandmother got herself killed in a staged auto accident. The authorities started a crackdown then, shutting down about a couple dozen or so crooked lawyers and chiropractors — known as “an OK start.”
But the latest scandal out of Lawrence has to take the cake. A couple of city employees (I can’t bring myself to call them “workers,” but apparently “jobs” were involved) got themselves fired and are facing criminal charges for hosting parties that involved sex, drugs, and booze. Even worse, they did this while on the clock. Even more worse, they did this in their workplace. But putting the crowning touch on their asshattery (which just might have been literal — I wanna see the surveillance tapes), their “workplace” was the Lawrence Fire Department Dispatch Center’s radio room, where emergency calls are routed and fire engines are dispatched.
It’s rare that I show restraint, but I’m going to refrain from making any comments about “fire hoses” or “fire poles” here. It’s too easy.
OK, Massachusetts, we give. We yield. We are not worthy. You are the undisputed champions of asshattery.