It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
Weekend Caption Contest™
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Kevin
Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site.
Why, yes, Mr. President, I DO know what a French whorehouse smells like. Why do you ask?
“Wow John, you still look life like even this close!”
Kerry thought balloon ‘I’ve got that dress’
Bush: That was you and you are wearing Chanel #5!
Both candidates stare frozen with lust and longing as the object of their ultimate desires walks by: a swing voter.
“Hey John, the cameras over here, behind you… aw hell, why start looking at them now?”
JK to noone in particular: Dance? Would anyone like to daaaaance?
Fake tan: $159
Manicure: $75
New pink lipstick: $29
George to John: “Global Test……PRICELESS”
Asked by reporters in the Bay area as to who might have the lead in the heretofore ignored Transvestite vote, John Kerry slyly replied, “Oh, I think you know who” before launching into the chorus of “Cabaret.”
Well, smack my ass and call me Trudy! That man’s wearing “Lip Smackers”.
The real reason Senator Kerry won’t sign Form 180 – Don’t ask, don’t tell.
kERRY: …and I can’t believe no one said A THING about my hair or my new tan for that matter, well at least I know I’m the prettiest one here, I can not WAIT to get out of these heels, they are killing my feet, hmmm, I wonder what John Edwards is doing, I have GOT to call him, tell him ALL ABOUT the debates, I wonder it if he watched, I know he watched, he knows how important to me it is, I see what HE thinks, I hope I won, ohhh, I don’t know maybe I did, maybe , I know, maybe he can come over, we can do hair and make s’mores, I love s’mores, ooohh that Maureen Dowd looks soooo……
John Zogby reports that Kerry has now taken a 95-3 lead over George Bush in the 6’6″+ cross-dresser demographic.
But Bush’s lead in the pissed-off redneck category holds at 80-11.
You realize that I’m going to kick your ass next month, don’t you?
Bush to Kerry: “Are you okay, Feller?”
It’s the wrong makeup, in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I’m john Kerry, and I approve making myself look like an asshole.
Kerry:”Sure I’ll give you a quick windsurfing lesson.Come a little closer.Now,you’ll be the windsurf board and I’m the wind surfer.”
Bush:OK
Kerry:”Now I’ll stand on your feet and balance myself.”
Bush:OK
Kerry:”Now,I grab hold of the mast and we patiently wait for a nice breeze to come along.
Bush:OK,”but I wish it would get here cause your hand is ice cold!”
Kerry’s hair and make-up person was quickly shuffled out of the inner circle of his campaign like so many others on Kerry’s campaign trail. When accused of putting on make-up like a mortician, the woman replied, “What else can I do with an undead Frankenstein-looking freak like that asshole?”
GW: Just as I thought; all facade and no evidence of backbone.
JK: Hope I can catch an endorsement from the Girlie-Man Makeup PAC. God, McGreevey looks hot tonite!
Kerry: Damn, that Edwards is sexy.
Bush: Damn, that Edwards is a dick.
Hey John. That look – the fake tan and lipstick – it failed the global test.
God, John, that WAS you that farted
Oooohhhh Veronica Vaughn….so pretty…want to touch the hiney!
outa my way hippie… I have a country to run and a war to win , don’t you have a peace march to attend?
Aren’t you starring in Hairspray?
“Look at the rack on that broad.”
he’s got his hand on my ass, god now i know how edwards feels…
See how red my lips are from kissing Jaque Chirac’s butt?
This Madam Tussaud’s is a great place, Laura! This feller looks almost real!
Bush: “From Oompa Loompa to the French Manicurian Candidate, eh girly boy? he he hee”
Bush: My wife and daughters are so much hotter than yours.
Kerry: [sigh] Yeah, I know.
You’ve got a strategic grasp of the application of lip gloss Kerry, but you need to work on the tactics of tweezing. You look like a weany man!
Pssssst. Hey buddy, Wanna buy an “O”?
Seriously, I understand that all people that are under the lights on tv have to put make up, but Kerry ought to fire his makeup girl for color incompetance.
That’s a right purdy shade of lip gloss ya got there Senator. But I think you shoulda left it on Edwards.
so the tan DOES stop right there…
From my two daughters: Monika, 10: “Why is he wearing make-up?” Leanna, 11, “Because he’s a Girlie Man!” (In her best Arnold voice)
Bush: You think Iraq is tough? My first week in office Helen Thomas tried to slip me the tongue.
John, it’s not really any of my business, but isn’t this an odd time for Teresa to be posing for a Boobiethon photo?
Bush: “Where’s that ‘deactivate’ button? That Data-fella from Star Trek had one back here somewheres.”
(With apologies to Dick Van Dyke & Morey Amsterdam)
Boy! For 800 million bucks she could be a lot uglier than that!
Democracy: At least neither of these two kuckleheads wil rule for life.
Kerry: “George, I’ve tried everything to get you to notice me…orange complexion, Botox treatments, manicured nails, nicely-coiffed ‘doo, and lipstick. I can feel you’re hard as a rock. Now that the debates are over, will you please come back to my room and let me show you that I really am a long, tall man?”
Bush: “John, that’s my six-shooter you’re feeling. If you so much as look at me the wrong way, I’ll pump you full of lead where the sun don’t shine. Botox men don’t turn me on. Girlie men don’t turn me on. And Noam Chomsky-loving anarchist men don’t turn me on. Men simply don’t turn me on. Do you get the message?
Bush: “I laughed so hard during Crocodile Dundee when you were hosting that party and Paul Hogan grabbed your crotch to see if you were really a woman. Man, that scene is seared into my memory.”
W: “Now! Lehrer’s not looking. Go-go-go. Grab the questions. I got your back.”
W: “Now! Lehrer’s not looking. Go-go-go. Grab the questions. I got your back.”
W: “Now! Lehrer’s not looking. Go-go-go. Grab the questions. I got your back.”
W’s checkin out my ass!! Damn I’m hot!
Senator Kerry answers Jim Lehrer’s question about opening nuclear proliferation dialogue with notoriously ‘kinky sex-crazed’ North Korean leader Kim Jong Il, by stating he wants to start up one-on-one talks…….
John, let me rest my head on your shoulder, because I FEEL YOUR PAIN!