Bonfire of the Vanities – Week 4

The Bonfire of the Vanities returns! This week we were treated to the Blogathon, which merited it’s own special recognition here at the Bonfire. As usual, all of this weeks entries speak for themselves; poorly…

Bonfire of the Vanities
Blogathon Special Section
  • Michele was running on fumes at this point in the Blogathon (the 6:00am post), so she elected reached into the 1970’s catalog collection and came up with a bizarrely disturbing caption to a picture of two little girls.
  • Clearly Michele was a bad influence on me as I surrendered all dignity for the 7:00 AM post and had this Howard Stern moment. Lesbian Caption Contests are the sign of a blogger hitting the wall. And to think my family and friends were reading along…

It wouldn’t be fair for Michele and me to show less than stellar Blogathon posts and not have Lair and Meryl join in. They didn’t send an entry so I picked one for them.

  • Lair might submit an entry if we rename the contest – Campfire of the Vanities. Since he has a real job now, I’ve picked his entry for him. Telling the Blogathon monitor to “bite me” was my choice.
  • Meryl’s tanks run empty here. She advises readers to look elsewhere, unfortunately she directed people to see Michele, Lair, or me (see our previous entries).
  • Bonus Entry – This Warren Ellis guest post for Michele during the Blogathon. I’ve fully recovered and I still can’t make heads of tails of it.
The Unusual Suspects
  • Jeff Trigg at has lot’s of pretty stat’s about the US prison population in this post. I think his point is that HE should be in jail.
  • Margi penned this ode to beefcake, in a valiant (if pathetic) attempt to get some bedroom action from the hubby. Victoria’s Secret gear and whipped cream probably would have worked better.
  • Jay pens a Den Besteian essay on the virtues of Ally McBeal now airing on FX. Alley McBeal = Bonfire, enough said.
  • Susie is gunning for the procrastination Hall Of Fame. First there’s this post then there is this one. Get to your room and do your homework!
  • Again risking the wrath of the Secret Service, Harvey whips out his crayons and defaces Al Hamilton. Now if the subject had been Al Haig that would have been cool.
  • Kinayda Kix is looking for love partners, I guess… Maybe he just wants us to know he’s in favor of consensual sex with the Bitch Girls.
  • Jeff McCune made this entry, which a reader pointed out made no sense, purely for the purpose of link whoring. This is shamelessly whorish – Bravo!
  • Jen does talk about the minutiae of her life a lot, but this was scraping the bottom of the barrel, even for her. Please do let us know when you paint your toenails, as toe porn is always welcome at the Bonfire.
  • Sean is clearly back on his game this week. This post on the purple bear has: 1) No picture, only a link; 2) A lame reference to Barney who is a dinosaur not a bear.
  • Pete C (Pietro) gathered all his worst material into one worthy entry. It must have been one of those days where he talked and talked and talked, and nobody heard him. It’s certainly cheaper than therapy, although substantially less effective.
  • Tiger must have had Blogathon envy with this post. It is worth noting that it was made on a Friday afternoon. The readers of the blogosphere usually won’t beat a path to your door to find out you’re too tired to make a post. Slacker!
  • James Joyner, Jr. PhD, Esq., CPA, DDS, MCSE, ETC proves that having advanced degrees (sorry I gave him a few extra just for fun) doesn’t exempt you from reading the story you are about to start a rant over. Had he even read the part of the story he had quoted, he would have not needed to rant. Instead, he went off on a tangent – Bravo!
  • Adam reports on the gayest salesman in the South. The post wasn’t so bad but the conversation will make you groan.
  • Nathan shares this joke with us. I think he stole it from Woody Allen. I don’t get the part about the hamster, but it’s probably just me. I’m sure everyone else will be laughing their asses off.

There you have it. Pour on a little more gasoline, and we’ll have a weenie roast around the Bonfire. As usual it has been a pleasure chore reading all of your fine crappy material.

Want To Join Next Weeks Bonfire?
E-mail me a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next weeks edition to me via e-mail by midnight EST Monday August 4th. Please use BOTV 5 Entry in the subject line.

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  1. Tiger July 29, 2003
  2. Tiger July 29, 2003
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  4. Sean Hackbarth July 29, 2003
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  12. Kin July 30, 2003