Winners Wizbang Caption Contest™ Week of December 1, 2023

This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ begins a season of festive photos awaiting captions!

The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:

Here are the winning entries:

1) (yetanotherjohn) – “Jill announced that in the spirit of the season the White House will be sending more hostages to Hamas so they won’t run short this Christmas.

(ulley) – “We`d better open our umbrellas it looks like reindeer.

2) (Joe_Miller) – “Waiting in line to talk to Santa took a disappointing turn this year.

(Bee Capu) –

3) (Brian Brandt) – “This will be the gold standard by which all other non-religious, kitchy, vulgar White House Christmases will be judged.

(RadiCalMan) – “Jill: “Hey Joe, Santa just told me your 10% check from Xi is in Santa’s sack this Christmas!

You’ve been a very good boy this year!”

4)(Porkopolis) – “🎵I’m Dreaming of a White Hegemon-Colonized-Patriarchal Christmas🎵

(KaptainKrude) – ““Ho ho ho! And speaking thereof, I see Jill Biden has made an appearance today! Ho ho ho!”

5) (patriciamcc) – “Jill has turned the WH into FAO Schwartz at Christmas.

(Par4Course) – “Dr. Jill explaining why they couldn’t hang a seventh Christmas stocking.

6) (McGeeHee) – “As God is my witness I thought reindeer could — oh. Never mind.

(Rick Adams) – “Moments later, the reindeer had an unfortunate and irreversible encounter with a windmill farm.

The Readers Choice Award this week goes to:

(Mary Gehman) – ““Hunter, the Snowman
was a very happy soul…
with a free crack-pipe and a dusty nose
and two eyes on a stripper pole…”

Best Kamala:

(RockThisTown) – ““Reindeer are — they are a reflection of our moment in our time, right?
And in present culture is the way we express how we’re feeling about the
reindeer. And we should always find times to express how we feel about the
reindeer that is a reflection of joy, because you know, it comes on Christmas
morning,” the vice president added, cackling. “We have to find ways to also express the way we feel about the reindeer in terms of just having reindeer games and a connection to how reindeer are experiencing life. And I think about it in that way too.”

Least Inappropriate:

(Retired military) – “Jill “and I promise you that two years after Trump is reelected you will see the economy and America is starting to turn around. The republicans and Trump will take credit for it. And once a democrat gets back as President and America starts to decline again it will be because the Republican policies have hit full force”

Best Banter Weight:

(rodney dill) – “(Some additional verses)
Hunter the Snowman
A cautionary tale they say
He couldn’t lay low
When he had some blow
Caused his Dad some strife one day

It must have been some white dust
In his old silk suit they found
When was snorted, went to his head
And he sounded like a clown

Oh, Hunter the Snowman
Was Biden’s li-a-bil-ity
White House advisors say
That he couldn’t stay
He was a joke as you can see

Oh, Hunter the snowman
Knew the press was hot for him that day
But he’s not done, No guilt for his gun
The charges just went away

Down to the village
with a Coke Spoon in his hand
Snorting here and there,
Staying low somewhere
From the White House he was banned

Hmm, Hunter the Snowman
Had to just go away
But he waved goodbye, sayin’ “I’ll still try
To bring back more blow someday.

Sniffity, snort snort, sniffity, snort snort,
Hunter used up all his blow
Sniffity, snort snort, sniffity, snort snort,
‘cept for his White House stash of Snow.

Best Sunday-11th Hour entry:

(RadiCalMan) – “🎶 Joe’s just got run over by a reindeer
Wandering around the White House Christmas eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Kamala, we believe

He’d been drinkin’ too much egg nog
And we’d begged him not to go
But he’d decided it was time to wander off
So he stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found him Christmas mornin’
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on his forehead
And incriminatin’ Trump marks on his back

Joe’s just got run over by a reindeer
Wandering around the White House Christmas eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Kamala, we believe

Now were all so proud of Jill
She’s been takin’ this so well
See her in there watchin’ football
Drinkin’ beer and playin’ cards with Hunter

Best “Where’s Jackie?”:

(Retired military) – “The WH Christmas tree fell down in an attempt to follow the example of the President

Best Use of the Trump caption of choice:

(yetanotherjohn) – “Do you know why Hillary isn’t hosting the White House Christmas display?

Sure you do, because she is not and will not be president … Merry Christmas.

Best Reference to a previous caption contest:

(cathymv) – “In the next room, you will have little Scottish dancing girls you can sniff….

Most Inappropriate:

(cathymv) – “Leave it to the Biden’s to display flying deer dicks for the holidays

That’s all for today. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.

Weekend Caption Contest™ Week of December 8, 2023
Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ Week of December 1, 2023