This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ seemed to dominate a lot of people’s weekends. I might have to start rewarding the shortest captions.
The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:
Here are the winning entries:
1) (Dusty Pitts) – ““My fellow Russians, I don’t care what the Ukrainians are claiming. I do not have evidence that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.””
(Rock This Town) – ““Hello, Mr. Putin. My name is Pelosi Galore”
Putin: “I must be having a nightmare””
(Mike) – “I understand the flags in the background, but why are Jill Biden’s dresses hanging in the doorway?”
2) (McGeehee) – ““As Marx is my witness, I thought Ukrainians would fry.””
(cathymv) – “Such a phallic desk…. over compensating much??”
(Rick Adams) – ““I’ve got the Nobel Peace Prize in the bag!””
3) (Paul Hooson) – “Where’s his white cat? Supervillains are supposed to be holding white cats…”
(ulley) – “Putin saying=”Oh no not another Muppets repeat.””
(RadiCalMan) – “Watch out Adolph, Mao and Joe, I’m coming to see you soon!”
4)(yetanotherjohn) – “As Putin is about to demonstrate, many parts of the crow are edible.”
(Tom Morrow) – “Downfall bunker scene, modern version.”
(Mary Gehman) – “They make plans… and God say’s ‘Hold My Beer’….”
5) (EricSteel) – “I visited Stalin’s grave. He is still more coherent than Biden.”
(Par4Course) – “Putin meets with top advisors willing to give him candid advice.”
(guido81_MA) – “Quiet! Time for favorite glorious Soviet TV show from 1970’s, The Brezhnev Bunch….It is story, of comrade named Leonid, who was busy defeating western imperialist pigs….”
6) (Joe_Miller) – ““I need another food taster. Do I have a volunteer?””
(rodney dill) – ““I never wanted to be a maniacal world leader… I really wanted to be… A lumberjack!””
The Readers Choice Award this week goes to:
(Retired military) – “Dateline 2052
Teacher “And that boys and girls is how Russia became a part of Ukraine””
Best Use of a Movie Quote
(rodney dill) – “Ukraine is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… MASS HYSTERIA!”
Best Song Parody:
(EricSteel) – “If you’re blue, and you’re yellow
Why don’t you go where throats are slit? Putin in a schvitz
Different types of war each day go, win or lose or nuke a Ukraine-o
Throats slit, Putin in a schvitz
Dressed up like a million-dollar hooker
Trying hard to look like Adolph Hitler (super-duper)
Come, let’s mix where Trotski’s beat with sticks or clubs in their mitts
Putin in a schvitz”
AND
(yetanotherjohn) – “Now you say you’re lonely
You cry the whole night through
Well, you can Crimea river
Crimea river
I cried a river over you”
Best Hillary Isn’t President:
(Brian Brandt) – “Dear Diary: Today was a busy day. I foiled a Kremlin coup and killed all the plotters, met with my generals who assured me that the war in Ukraine was going exactly as planned, and confirmed with President Xi that all the oil that was embargoed by the Western Powers were being sold by China at a healthy mark-up. Then Klaus Schwab called to confirm the winners of the US mid-tern elections, and we agreed that Hillary will never be President, owing to her uncanny ability to kill off anybody who has anything on her.
Time to toddle off to bed, because tomorrow will be busy again. I’m transferring funds from Gasprom to Hunter and The Big Guy for our ‘agreement.’”
Best Banter Weight:
(Mary Gehman) – “Oh…and I am the subject of ridicule and the butt of bad jokes in that fvcking Wizbang Caption Contest…again…”
Best Sunday-11th Hour entry:
(Mike) – ““You’ll notice I have five phones on my desk, and none of them are red!””
Best Stand Up Chuck/Where’s Jackie:
(RockThisTown) – ““Did I mention my son, Major Beauris Putin, who died in Iraq””
Best reference to a previous caption contest”:
(Dusty Pitts) – ““Nobody ever covers me with budgies.””
That’s all for today. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.
