This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ paid tribute to our nation’s favorite pasttime: watching wealthy men swing a bat around between episodes of pointless time wasting by their adversaries. We had over 200 captions so we have double winners for each place. The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:
Here are the winning entries:
1) (Rock ThisTown) – Trump puts together a baseball team . . . the Fake News Bears.
(fustian24) – I’m off to fix healthcare. Turns out a pen and a phone weren’t enough.
2) (TheyTukRJobz) – A man becomes preeminent, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms… Enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy?
Now… where’s Mitch?”
(Mary Gehman) – “Who’s on first?…”
3) (Mike) – Trump 1
Fake News 0
(Par4Course) – Obama bragged he had a pen and a phone. Trump has a baseball bat. ‘Nuff said.
4) (David Robertson) – Trump: “Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick. I speak loud and carry a bigger stick.”
(Retired military) – Trump decides to give McCain McConnell and Ryan what they deserve.
5) (Raaron) – THis is perhaps a bit tangential but …
‘If you build it they won’t come.”
(rodney dill) – “I’m gonna knock the covfefe off that ball.”
6) (Joe_Miller) – Kevin, put me in another damn caption contest! I dare ya!
(Rick Adams) – “That’s one…”
The Readers Choice Award this week goes to:
(Brian Brandt) – I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me . . .
(RadiCalMan) – Start spreading the news, we’ve found Teddy’s “Big Stick” in the basement and we’re gonna’ put it to good use!
(guido81_MA) – Ok CNN, I’ll take a question from you now.
Most Inappropriate But Funny:
(Paul Hooson) – “Wow! He’s not taking it well when Melania told him in no uncertain terms that she absolutely will not go A2M for him….”.
Best Reuse of the Caption of Choice for the Trump Administration:
(yetanotherjohn) – The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the GOP nine that day:
The score stood four to two, with but one inning more to play,
And then when Coomey died at first, and Sessions did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game.
A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, “If only Trump could but get a whack at that—
We’d put up even money now, with Trump at the bat.”
But Ryan preceded Trump, as did also Mitch McConnel,
And the former was a hoodoo, while the latter was a cake;
So upon that stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but little chance of Trump getting to the bat.
But Ryan let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And McConnel, the much despisèd, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occurred,
There was Mitch safe at second and Ryan a-hugging third.
Then from 62,984,825 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It pounded on the mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Trump, mighty Trump, was advancing to the bat.
There was ease in Trump’s manner as he stepped into his place;
There was pride in Trump’s bearing and a smile lit Trump’s face.
And when, responding to the cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Trump at the bat.
125,969,650 eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt;
62,984,825 tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt;
Then while the writhing pitcher ground the bill into his hip,
Defiance flashed in Trump’s eye, a sneer curled Trump’s lip.
And now the Obama Care Repeal came hurtling through the air,
And Trump stood a-watching it in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy batsman the bill unheeded sped—
“That ain’t my style,” said Trump. “Strike one!” the mainstream media said.
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
“Kill him! Kill the mainstream media!” shouted someone on the stand;
And it’s likely they’d have killed them had not Trump raised his hand.
With a smile of Christian charity great Trump’s visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the repeal bill flew;
But Trump still ignored it and the mainstream media said, “Strike two!”
“Fraud!” cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered “Fraud!”
But one scornful look from Trump and the audience was awed.
They saw his face grow stern and cold, they saw his muscles strain,
And they knew that Trump wouldn’t let that bill go by again.
The sneer is gone from Trump’s lip, his teeth are clenched in hate,
He pounds with cruel violence his bat upon the plate;
And now the pitcher holds the bill, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Trump’s blow.
Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy in the GOP—mighty Trump has struck out.
But Hillary is still not President.
That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.