Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners April 1, 2016

This week’s Weekend Caption Contest™ really got people’s creative juices flowing. The assignment this week was to caption the following picture:
Here are the winning entries:

1) (fustian24) – “With apologies to Edgar Allen Poe:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten Marxist drivel,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my podium middle.
'Tis some visitor,' I muttered,tapping at my podium middle –
Only this, and nothing more.’

Then this puny bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said,art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore –
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Clintonian shore!’
Quote the raven, `Superdelegates matter, you dim bulb, now get out of the race so I can start focussing on Trump…!!!’
Well, that, and ‘nevermore’.

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Cankles whose foot-falls thudded on the tufted floor.
Wretch,' I cried,thy party hath lent thee – by these angels he has sent thee
Respite – respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Marxist lore!
Toke, oh toke this Denver weed, to celebrate my return of Marx to soar!’
Quoth the sparrow, `Nevermore.’

2) (rodney dill) – ““Damn, I just can never figure out how to send a tweet.”

3) (Rick Adams) – “In Soviet Russia, bird flips YOU.

4) (Diane Bourlier) – “Sure, I sold the milk cow for the magic beans. . . But any day now, any day we’re gonna have those magic money trees. Free health care, free college, free everything! Wheeee!!!

5) (cathymv) – “Bernie Sanders jumped back from the podium in fear – Hillary Clinton sent a Common Sniper to take him out! While Sanders knew that he was a Minor Bird in this election cycle, he was the Least Bitter of politicians and he thought that would appeal to Black Scooters everywhere! Bernie has had enough of that Southern Screamer and now he was going to fight back. He was going to confront that Dickcissel husband of hers and tell him to tell that Red Footed Booby to mind her Great Tit and stop scaring him or he was going to pull out the Big Bird Game Cock and then we will see who was going to get an Imperial Shag!

6) (yetanotherjohn) – “Funny, it was a buzzard that did the same thing at the Hillary rally.

The Readers Choice Award this week goes to three additional great entries:

(David Robertson) – “I want to give Bernie the bird, too, but not like that.

(guido81_MA) – “I’m sorry, but I just don’t know the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow. But I will say this, it is unfair for 1\10th of 1% of all swallows, migratory or non-migratory, to own 90% of all of the coconuts, regardless of where they grip it….it’s not a question of where he grips it.

(retired military) – “The bird showed up to complain when Bernie went after it’s nest egg.
That’s all for this weekend. A new edition of the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ will debut Friday morning.

Hillary Ok with Due Date Abortions
Donald Trump has finally gone too far.