This Thing Called Marriage

Marriage License

What with the brouhaha pertaining to Kim Davis going on, now is a good time to learn more about this thing called marriage. As a service to his readers, this writer sought the counsel of some of Earth’s greatest sages. Here are some of the things that they said about marriage.

“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.” – Jeff Foxworthy

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” -Groucho Marx

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.” – Minnie Pearl

“They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West

“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” -Zsa Zsa Gabor

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? ” – George Carlin

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house.” – George Burns

“My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food….. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Henny Youngman

“A man doesn’t know what happiness is until he’s married. By then it’s too late.”- Frank Sinatra

“Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.” – Alan King

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing—and then marry him.” – Cher

“I never mind my wife having the last word. In fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.” – Walter Matthau

“My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. ” – Jack Benny

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