It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Monday morning.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
“My daddy’s Matt Drudge, and yes I do dare question you on your plethora of scandals.”
“It’s a fedora, but you would probably be more at home in a fez.”
more likely a keffiyeh…
DRUDGEBREAKING: New Obama administration headgear scandal… fedora vs. asshat…. you decide… developing…
‘”From this point on, I’m only answering questions from kid reporters like you…”.
Where’s Jay Carney when I really need him?
“Mr. President, being that you’re half white and half black, if you had a housefire, would the first thing you rescue be the TV or the golfclubs?”.
“Your dad’s hat looks good on you. And it will help yo to sneak into strip clubs too!”.
Boy Reporter: “Mr. President, what do you think about the health crisis with Randy Travis, his heart condition and his stroke?”.
Mr. President: “Well son, like they say, different strokes for different folks”.
“Son, some day you might become president too! You’ll work long hours, quickly turn grey and old, late night comics will make fun of you, many in the public will simply hate you. – So run away now, while you can!”.
Oops, Paul, he really meant to say that if you’re elected president you’ll never have to work another day in your life, just like me.
Mr. President: “I’m surprised you kids aren’t nervous?”.
Kid reporter: “No, interviewing that priest last week was far more scary. Besides, you’re just a joke…”.
“Mr. President, what do think of Paul Hooson’s housefire jokes?”.
Who’s Paul Hooson?
“Son, I have every reason to believe that you could perform just as well as me in this office…”.
“Oh, that’s so cute! But isn’t it a little bit early to be wearing your Chico Marx Halloween costume?”.
Boy Reporter: “My dad is a NASA rocket scientist…”.
Mr. President: “I know a thing or two about complex electronics as well. I can operate a toaster…”.
Mr. President: “Son, I’m sure that your dog knows as much as I do about being President”.
Mr. President: “Kids, as bad as things may seem, they could have been much worse. Romney could have won, and could have been parading around in that holy Mormon underwear right now. That’s not a pretty picture…”.
Broccoli, Mr. President? Isn’t that a load of bull shizznit?
“Son, someday in your lifetime you may see Paul Hooson actually write one joke that’s funny. And if not in your lifetime, then in your son’s lifetime…”.
That’s highly unlikely based on what we’re reading here!
Ha Ha!
It only gets worse Westcoastwiser. Go to Wizbang Pop and one of my songs is available to listen to for free with one click. ELVIS IS DEAD was a simply outrageous rock n roll number that had radio play on West coast radio stations in Los Angeles and Portland. I not only do bad jokes, I write, sing and perform bad music as well. I’m a jack of all trades, master of none…
I think i saw you performing in the local Wal-Mart parking lot with a one-string banjo and a Justin Beiber piss-bucket.
“Yes, I am a computer genius, and no… I will not fix your teleprompter for you.”
“Son, ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country can do for you..”.
Boy: “Do you know who your biggest detractor is?”
Obama: “Who son?”
Boy: “Awww… you guessed.”
Good one, Rodney!
Obama: “OK… can you name my Chief of Staff?”
Boy: “Alan Smithee?”
Obama: “No… I do not know ‘De Camptown Ladies.’“
“Hello Billy… Do you like Gladiator movies?”
“Son, when you’re young and handsome, the girls will tell you that you look like a Greek god…But, when you grow old, they’ll tell you that you look like a God damn Greek..”.
How Obama really sees the mainstream media.
One vote up from me for observational humor!
Boy Reporter: “Mr. President, Asians are dangerous enough driving cars.Do you think they should be allowed to fly planes?”.
Gee, Mr. Obama, if I had a real Dad, he’d look just like you.
No, Mr. President, I am not Paul Hooson! He’s a real journalist.
Ha Ha!
Again with the bowing.
Put that camera away, young lady. A photo op with your noble leader costs $10,000.
Mr. President: “How many of you kids have a dad in prison or on meth?”.
Mr. President: “You kid reporters are all pretty good…except for the kid in the hat. You must be a fetal alcohol syndrome kid…”.
Mr. President: “How many of you kids know who your dad is?”.
You know, Mr. President, I’ll bet if you bend over just a little bit more you could stick your head up your ass!
“Yes kids, I know that abortion is a tough issue. But, I know of five good arguments in favor of abortion…”.
Boy Reporter: “Mr. President, how come Paul Hooson’s jokes aren’t nearly as dirty this week?”.
Mr. President: “Yet, his humor has still managed to offend with Randy Travis jokes, racial jokes and fetal alcohol syndrome humor…”.
Boy: “My dad’s a truck driver, but he broke his arm when he pulled out to avoid a child.”
Obama: “That sounds terrible. Was it a bad accident he was in.”
Boy: “It wasn’t a traffic accident… he fell out of bed.”
Holy crap!
Which reminds me… A Gastroenterologist and his partner’s house caught fire, and when the reporter asked why they were still smiling when they had lost all their valuables, they said that their cache of enema bags was left unscathed.
Wow! A new housefire joke! Love It!
Nope: it’s a new gastroenterologist joke! Puts your house fire jokes to shame. Can’t wait for your follow-up next week, Scorpion!
My housefire jokes are deliberately bad, as are all my jokes. That’s my comedy style. One part shock comedy – another part just bad humor. Chris Elliot had a little bit the same style, with bad jokes, but I combine this with ghoulish shock humor such as making Randy Travis jokes way too early, etc. – My housefire jokes usually combine a stupid joke with an offensive ethnic or racial stereotype for shock value. These jokes will evoke nervous laughter from people, who feel just a little bit guilty about enjoying the joke. – I liked Scorpion moving the housefire joke in a new direction here. That was a pretty darn good joke in my view.
But.
(see what I did there?)
I was just saying the other day that there just aren’t enough good gastroenterologist jokes.
Will that holy crap be his first miracle?
You kids remind me of the White House press corps:a bunch of twerps who keep asking annoying questions.
Mr. President: “Hey kids, did you ever notice how the caption jokes started out about me being a poor president, and now they’re all about you kids, that you should have been aborted, that you have fetal alcohol syndrome….that’s what happens when grown men are desperate to write funny captions. Funny, huh?”.
The young reporter is speaking slowly and using small words so the President will understand.
Mr. President: why did you steal our future?
Mr. President: we’re trying to decide if you’re stupid, evil, or both. Do you even know which it is?
It’s a cheap shot, fustian24; you know the president doesn’t like to answer questions
I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s illegal by now.
I’ve checked with AG Holder and you’re under investigation.
Nope, If I had a son, he wouldn’t look like you.
Look at the President bowing to the children as if they’re foreign despots.
Well if I DID have a son, Michelle probably would have castrated him by now too.
The Lord of the Flies speaks.
Mr. President: will you be out personally leading the rioting when Mr. Zimmerman is found not guilty, or will you once again use the Justice Department to hide your involvement?
Once again the President demonstrates that he is most comfortable when talking down to others.
Kid Reporter:
Mr. President, while having lunch with Joe Biden we overheard him say that broccoli causes cancer but not to tell you..