It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Due to the holiday, winners will be announced Monday evening.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
Obama: “Is it raining?”
Marine: “Yes, Mr. President.”
Obama: “Here…. let me check. Hey! Why’d you let me get wet?”
“Hmmmm… Nothing like a little bad weather to take peoples minds off political scandals.”
Obama (to press): “Hey, I know Susan Rice told you there would be no rain today… but you know how she lies.”
Obama: “Where could you have been better placed to protect the Presidency?”
Marine: “Benghazi, Mr. President.”
Ha ha
Obama: “What’s the weather report for today?”
Marine: “Chance of Scandals early, with scattered political attacks toward evening.”
They both swore to protect and uphold. But only one is doing his job…
The Marine realizes that the drip has actually been under the umbrella.
“I always like to start with a little ethnic housefire joke. A mixed race family, half Black, half White has a housefire. But, they had a dilemma on their hands. They couldn’t decide whether to rescue the TV or the golfclubs first…”.
Where’s a lightning bolt when you need one?
“My father from Kenya used to tell me the story of the first time that two hippos ever saw a rhino. One exclaimed, “Look, a unicorn!”. – BTW, now Paul has upgraded his jokes to include visual effects….
Reminds me a little of the future mayor of New York.
Yeah, and already poised to screw its citizens.
“I swear I think I can see Ray Manzarek from here….”.
I’m sorry Mr President, I don’t think that this umbrella will help with the shit-storm that’s coming.
You wanna know what kind of courage that Marine has?
Obama just said: “If I’m lying, may lightning strike me down!”
“Okay, everybody look up. Okay, now where’s your watches and wallets. Clever, huh?”.
“Okay, this is where I end the speech by throwing confetti up in the air like Rip Taylor, but I forgot the confetti today…”.
Now, we know why Obama wouldn’t send the military to Benghazi.
He needed them for umbrella duty.
“Okay, so here’s what Gary Busey would look like if he was president giving a speech….pretty good, huh?”.
“Look! It’s my 100 foot tall Wookie wife!”.
Obama decides to sic the IRS on the rain.
“That’s right, string that Hooson up high! Hang that Hooson high! Those bad housefire jokes of Hooson’s are a White House lawn lynching offence….”.
“There’s the drone now. I authorized one last drone attack on American citizens….on Paul Hooson for his awful housefire jokes…We need to take him out.”.
“Why, that damn Anthony Weiner is in a plane…damn him..”.
His (Anthony Weiner’s) political career was dead, now it’s alive. How long before you see a ‘VOTE FOR FRANKENWEENIE’ bumper sticker.
“What? That damn Paul Hooson hired a banner plane to display his awful housefire jokes. Damn him!”.
“Circling the drain…the country is circling the drain…circling the drain…”.
In searching for a special prosecutor, I needed to find someone brutally honest. Someone that would tell me what I needed to hear. Someone the American people implicitly trust.
This is why I am announcing that Michelle Obama will be the special prosecutor charged with investigating Benghazi, the IRS, and an ever-increasing list of journalists who were illegally investigated.
She will be setting up an office in Martha’s Vineyard very soon.
In view of the complexity of the investigation, I don’t expect we’ll hear anything more until well after my term in office.
The Marines having his left ear covered, Obama watches as elements of the 82nd Airborne deploy to keep his right ear dry.
“You know folks, it was pretty ironic about my good friend from Chicago, Roger Ebert. He used to review films, but in the end, it was much of Roger Ebert that ended up on the cutting room floor. Ironic, huh?”.
“There goes Dennis Rodman…off on yet another diplomatic mission. Godspeed to you, Dennis…”.
The Obumbleshoot photo op
Sir, get your F#*%in’ hand off my dress blues before I ram this umbrella up your bumbershoot, Sir!
When I asked my grandfather, “What did you do in the Marines, Papa?”, he told me about Iwo Jima. When I asked my father the same question, he told me about Khe Sanh……I get to tell my kids that I kept a pile of shit dry in Washington?
“Look everybody! Kevin’s using the same funny photo from Rodney Dill’s Outside The Beltway funny caption contest. Pretty original, huh?”. “And Paul Hooson is even reusing some of the same old tired housefire jokes too! This week is really something special, huh?”.
…and I’ve used up all my ‘to be’ bottom of the barrel captions here.
What’s even worse than all of this is adding that stupid rhino picture to my stupid “unicorn” joke. That’s not very good at all… When a joke can’t even carry itself on it’s own weight, you add a picture to illustrate, only hoping to wring out a laugh…that’s like a bad overpriced Hallmark greeting card or something logic right there…Hallmark charges $4 a pop to put a stupid picture up with a joke that’s not even funny on it’s own…
How many Marines does it take to keep a moron out of the rain?
More than one apparently.
“Oh God no, now Warner Todd Huston is starting a funny caption contest too!… Oh my mistake, that’s just one of his regular features, sorry about that…”.
Obama: “You’re such a helpful Marine. Is there anyone you wouldn’t help if they said, ‘Here, hold this?'”
Marine: “Anthony Weiner.”
“Looks like its clearing up…. Do you caddy?”
Obama: “Hey! those other marines got real big umbrella’s.”
Marine: “They’re parachutes Mr. President.”
Obama: I’m melting!! I’m melting!!
There’s a shit storm coming that even the Marines can’t protect you from Mr. President.
I didn’t know that Mary Poppins’ grandson went into the Marines!
What’s the umbrella for? If nobody tells the President it’s raining, he won’t know it.
What, me worry?
Obama gives a speech on drone warfare and demonstrates how the US military will protect Americans from drone attacks.
For those of you who can’t read flags, it says “American Turkey”.
You know, I’m a better umbrella holder than you.
The sequester continues to wreck havoc across Washington DC as the number of umbrella stands runs short.
When it rains, it pours, eh Mr. President?
Do a nice comfy tour in the states, gunny says. Why do another tour in the sandbox, gunny says. If I ever catch gunny in a dark alley…
I didn’t know Obama stole belt buckles.
Sunshine is supposed to be the best thing for government, but it doesn’t seem to be working.