Barack Obama: Protecting Our Kids From Real Threats

We have a huge problem facing our schools today. I am SO glad President Obama is right on top of this. I have no idea how many children have been victimized by these horrific monsters to date but it is definitely time to go after them. It’s the biggest and most important concern we can have for our children in schools today…


God knows how I lay awake at night, tossing and turning about what my child might choose for themselves out of the vending machines. It’s a nightmare I just can’t seem to get out of my head. This has to be a priority and the President has made it so! Thanks be to heaven above that he’s focused on what really matters in our children’s education! Tying his 160 pages of regulations to federal funding, thereby blackmailing schools into falling in line is sheer fascism brilliance!

The Common Core Curriculum is rapidly becoming unpopular, a massive failure and being protested in almost every state of the union, but it doesn’t hold a candle to vending machines.

We can address our children’s falling test scores and throngs of children who get through the system barely being able to read later. This whole National school choice week thing is not indicative of a systemic meltdown of the public education experiment. Our schools and teachers are held accountable! Nope. Vending machines are the big problem.

Union interference certainly isn’t an issue either. The possibility my child might choose a pack of Oreos instead of the Sun Chips is paramount.

Our kids are getting Plan B and other forms of contraception without parental knowledge or approval, but that’s small potatoes compared to vending machines.

There will be time enough to worry about lunatic gunmen bent on shooting down our children in their classrooms like fish in a barrel  later.  Besides, the President has already issued 23 ways that will never stop school shootings from happening. Besides, schools are gun free zones. That should be plenty to stop anyone intent on murdering innocent people. What do we need armed security for? What we need now is a serious dialogue and crackdown on vending machines.


O.k., so maybe I went a bit over the top, but seriously folks…160 pages of regulations for what our kids can eat in school and only 23 (albeit mostly ineffective) ways to cut gun violence and protect our kids. Think about that.

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