It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Monday morning.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
Kicking off my campaign from Afghanistan…. Mission Accomplished.
Reporter: “Yes Mr. President, I understand the pit bull part, but how is it you know what a hockey mom tastes like again?”
My military commitment?… uh… 220, 221, whatever it takes.
“I’m starved. Anyone know where I can get a good dog here? ‘Bout yay big.”
You know, if feels like just yesterday that I hunted down and killed Bin Laden. You guy’s know that I killed Bin Laden, right?
“So you bitter clingers can understand, first I gave Osama a judy chop and then a ninjy chop.”
I only came here because it is the only place I could think of where my Secret Service detail couldn’t easily get whores and liquor!
Any one want to see my big stick? OK, anyone besides Mr Matthews…..
Up armored Hum-V? Check
American Flag? Check
Camo netting? Check
Lose the SCOAMF in the foreground and you got a great photo-op
Let me be perfectly clear. I am not here to spike the football about how I killed Bin Laden.
Spiking the football about how I killed Bin Laden is not something I would do.
So I’m not going to do that. Spike the football about how I killed Bin Laden.
I had Jim Carney PhotoShop me into this picture of some Army trucks to help remind people that I made the tough call. I went after Bin Laden and I killed him.
Stephen,
It really does look like he’s standing in front of a picture of Army trucks…
“My work here is done.” Jim Carney
Moving the military into the 21st century:
“Today I will sign an executive order mandating all our military vehicles run on algae.”
fowty-now-fowtyfibe-now-fibe-wiyagimme-fowtyfibe-now-fifty
“Yep, misplaced it again. Anyone seen the football, its a case ’bout so big….”
Any corpsmen here today?
The Price is Right Afghanistan.
“Yes, I roll heavy… This is Chicago after all.”
It turns out Obama himself is an unholy composite of Karl Marx, Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers and an Indonesian Water Spaniel.
These juxtaposed images are… surreal.
And, did you know that I’m 1/32 Indian? I think that’s the part responsible for me killing bin Laden.
WH PR Hint #1: Photoshop a helmet, and BDU’s on him… and the public might buy it.
I sent Julia to kill Bin Laden. That’s why she gets such great benefits.
“OK…. couldya tilt the teleprompter just a little bit more to the left…”
“These babies have only a thousand miles on the odometer and they can be yours for the low low price of $999,000, no money down and zero interest.”
“Let’s just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel
spoke fenders and two-way sneeze through wind vents, star-studded
mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender
dents – and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped
air conditioned factory! It’s a beautiful car friends, with doors
to match! Birch’s Blacklist says this automobile was stolen, but
for you friends a complete price.” (firesign theatre)
30 caliber machine gun standard on all models, anti-tank missle launcher only available in the GT package.
WH PR Hint # 2: Take Hint # 1, but ditch the podium, and put da man on top of the highest vehicle while he gestures “Forward”… and you’ll have a Winner!
Tanks….for the memories…
“And so to the brave members of our Navy behind me, I say…”
WH PR Hint #3, take hint #1 and 2, ditch the green background cammo net, and replace it with smoke, pyrotechnics, and a sound track of “Hail to the Cheif”… and let the camera’s roll!
WH PR Hint # 4, Show ‘the man’ at the a rifle range putting rounds down range into a target with Bin Laden’s image pasted on it… PS: make sure to to zero in on his bodily recoil as he pulls the trigger, then cut to the target as the bullet smashes into the “X” ring.
Obama: “Silence infidels…. I kill you.”
Spoken by a real dummy.
WH PR Hint # 5, take hint # 4, but don’t forget the applause track at the end.
Heck, I could do this all day long… just goes to show you, its amateur hour at the White House PR Dept.
“……….. will be available to My Brothers in the New Black Panther Party, as well as members of the Muslim Brotherhood 30 days prior to the November 6, 2012 elections.”
Any PR hack knows such a program needs a catchy ditty… so call it, “Forward to Victory, with Obama’s Lend Lease!”
Ya know, there are so many people under the bus it won’t move anymore. That’s why I need these tougher vehicles that will roll over the folks I’m gonna be throwin’ down.
“Kobe!… I’m open.”
And I’ve decided to replace these vehicles with Chevy Volts because climate change is the real threat to our security now that I killed Bin Laden.
“…and for all the HUMVEEs… I’ve printed up FROWARD bumper stickers.”
Paste one on his forehead too… just in case his base can’t make the connection.
American Heritage Dictionary
Froward – Stubbornly contrary and disobedient; obstinate.
My Bad. I read it as Afri-fro (a longer hairstyle version from O’s younger days).
I remember them being called fro’s. I hadn’t thought about that connotation. Probably means someone will claim Froward is racist.
“Let me be clear! … No really – can someone wipe the sand off that telaprompter? – I can’t read it”
And it turns out I’ve got a real feel for this hero stuff. If I hadn’t been a dog eating, arugula stuffing, Marxist leftard, I would have made a great Seal or even a Corpseman!
Didn’t there used to be a guy name of Bin Laden that lived in these parts? Tall guy, long beard…serious porn habit?
Oh wait, I killed him!
The (real) reason he stands before you…
They told me I couldn’t ride… cause our weapon systems are built by the lowest bidder.
“Anyone seen my helmet?”
“So, thanks to me, Julia won’t have to kill Bin Laden.”
“And after I built these vehicles behind me with my bare hands, I set about personally training the SEALS to take on this mission. Just to be sure, we included a couple of clones of me in the group that went in.”
What do you get when you combine Tom Clancy and Stephen King?
“….and the part I liked best about the pit bull was the strawberry flavored lipstick… or maybe that was the hockey mom… it was dark.”
Oh, did I mention that I killed BinLaden?
“… and I hope you all buy my new book — 101 Uses For A Dead Islamic Terrorist.”
(IKBLBTW)
He’s a helmet away from going the full Dukakis…
“…and I promise to continually go Forward, with mentioning that I killed Bin Laden.”
The Obama administration rolls out its new military grade, tacticle teleprompter system.