Sucks being you

I don’t remember the exact circumstances under which she said it.  She was a bleached-blonde chick I knew back in those Halcyon days when we were both studying at my beloved alma mater,  North Central Texas State College of Misogyny and Racism.  She deftly batted away whatever trifling whinge I had that day with a deadpan, “It must suck being you.”  How quaint.  How magnificent.  I don’t believe anyone has ever told me to shut up and bugger off quite as succinctly.

She meant it that way.  That’s not how I actually took it.  Her words triggered a lightning-quick bout of introspection.  Sucks being me?  Born in America as a white male in a two parent household.  Soon-to-be college graduate with dual majors in Vote Suppression and Xenophobia.   Heir to the vast Von Ottomatic used car wrecking yard/black market whiskey empire.  Sucks being me?  I won the Powerball of life at the moment of conception.  It is awesome being me.

Where she was freaking spot on, though, is that nobody wants to hear some dumbass lament their stupidity and self-suffering misery that results.  Anything I could have been bitching about back in college was almost surely self-inflicted.  It’s easy to be a liberal in college.  You’re living in a world where your worst problem doesn’t make the give-a-damn meter of 99% of the people in the world.  I figured that out early.

It would have been easy to be angry at her.  People who think they’re smart really don’t like having their ignorance pointed out, much less flippantly mocked.  Rule number one when you find yourself in a hole – stop digging.  Our steel-blue eyes still locked, I apologized for being such a candyass and suggested that if she had any doubts about my manhood we could pound down what’s left in the pitcher and retire to my trailer out by the National Forest.  She didn’t bite, not then, but at least I could walk away not feeling like a total dick.

There’s a point here somewhere and it involves people who think they’re smart doing something ignorant.

You know, when I was — when I was young, just got out of college, I had to buy auto insurance. I had a beat-up old car. And I won’t name the name of the insurance company, but there was a company, let’s call it Acme Insurance in — in Illinois. And I was paying my premiums every month. After about six months I got rear-ended, and I called up Acme and said, “You know, I’d like to see if I can get my car repaired.” And they laughed at me over the phone.

Because really, this was set up not to actually provide insurance, what it was set up was to meet the legal requirements. But it really wasn’t serious insurance.

Now, it’s one thing if you got an old beat-up car that you can’t get fixed. It’s another thing if your kid is sick or you’ve got breast cancer.

Sucks being you.  That was Magna Cum Laude Harvard Law graduate Barack Obama.  Based on this statement, if I ever need to hire a contract lawyer any Harvard Law alum will immediately be eliminated from consideration.  He obviously didn’t read his policy – or worse yet he did and was unable to grasp the limits of his coverage.  Beyond what would be considered legal malpractice in practice that statement is chock full of stupid.

If he got rear-ended the other driver is at fault.  Their insurance company would be paying the claim.  Unless he backed into them, which would make him an even bigger schmuck.

His policy was set up to provide insurance.  To anyone whose vehicle he damaged in an accident.  Minimum liability insurance.  It is usually state-mandated.  Great deal for the insurance industries – they get more customers and a larger risk pool.  Less than $200 a year here in Texas keeps you legal.  If you’re driving a hooptie it makes sense.  Why pay an extra $2,000 a year to buy full coverage on a $2,000 car?

He probably learned about full-coverage when he bought his first new car and they laughed at him for thinking he would drive off the lot with his cheap, liability-only policy.  They probably laughed at him again when he thought tune-ups and oil changes were covered.

Barack Obama’s answer to this confusing hodge-podge of insurance mumbo-jumbo?  Insurers should just provide total coverage from bumper-to-bumper for the same low cost as liability-only policies.  Something for nothing.  But you’re paying for the insurance, you say?  Yes, paying for the agreed upon amount of liability coverage required by law.  If you require more coverage it is available for an additional premium.

Auto and health insurance make a terrible analogy.  Auto insurance doesn’t cover maintenance or mechanical repair, only collision damage.  Car owners must pay out of pocket (or rely on a factory warranty) for regular service to extend the life of the vehicle.  Forcing auto insurers to cover mechanical repairs would cost a fortune.

The only common denominator is that providing comprehensive coverage to everyone at the same cost is not sustainable.  We’re fixing to find out as the Medicare rolls double in the next few years.

There is such a thing as a free lunch.  If you can get the government to mandate it.

Which brings us to law school denizen number two, Sandra Fluke.  This future attorney just couldn’t make heads nor tails out of Georgetown’s student health insurance coverage.  No coverage for birth control?  That just couldn’t be.  I could call to clarify, but I’ll just purchase coverage and assume the omitted birth control coverage details were just an oversight.

Sucks being you.  Birth control is obviously pretty important to Ms. Fluke.  You can tell a lot about people by the battles they choose.  Choosing to take on the conscience of the church over birth control means she either cares a whole hell of a lot about birth control or she really hates religious conscience.

I honestly don’t get the pro-abortion left.  I mean I really don’t get it.  I called Fluke a fascist but she’s just a pawn in an army of thousands.  Obama’s CIC.  What possible justification is there for forcing religiously-objecting medical personnel to offer abortion?  The “contraception” debate isn’t about rubbers or the pill, it’s about morning-after pills.

There was a time I equated the pro-abortion left and the hardcore Second Amendment right in terms of fervor and proclivity to roll out slippery slope arguments.  But the NRA doesn’t go to Congress and the Courts to force merchants to sell guns against their conscience.  You have the right to bear arms, but no one is required to provide you with one at your demand.

Have all the abortions you want.  I have no strong personal or moral objections to abortion.  I have no skin in the game.  If The Lord exists it’s between The Lord and the mother.  If not it’s all on her.  Buy insurance that will cover abortions if that’s important to you.  But it is completely unreasonable to expect everyone to agree to provide abortions to you upon demand.  Or birth control.  Someone will sell you the services you desire, but no one is under any obligation.

Two elite law school students unable to understand the documents to which they applied their signatures.  Innocent, 30 year-old legal experts hoodwinked by Big Insurance.  Seeing these brilliant scholars unable to comprehend the legally binding documents they were forced to execute should be a real eye-opener to everyone.  If our best and brightest can’t navigate the treacherous waters of insurance coverage between their twenty hours a week of scheduled activities how can hard-working Americans be expected to make wise choices?

I guess that makes a better stump speech than, “I have a great deal of difficulty with personal finance matters and evaluating insurance choices but conscience-be-damned I am ready to make important, lasting health care decisions for you.”

Could it really suck being me after all?  I guess there’s a chance I’ll pass before the bill comes due, so I got that going for me.

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