As rare as the whooping crane

There was a time when you saw them everywhere.  Now they’re almost non-existent and as we head into this election year they’re conspicuous in their absence.  It’s depressing.  Frankly, America deserves better but doesn’t seem to have the stomach for the radical course correction needed.

Credible budget hawks?  Auto commercials that don’t include the syllable “eco”?  Truly conservative Republican frontrunners?  No, I refer to NFL players who perform their assignment on a play without acting like they just won the lottery.

Call me a crank, but does every tackle behind the line of scrimmage have to be followed by a defensive player sprinting twenty yards further beyond the line of scrimmage and posing like Hulk Hogan?  Must every catch beyond the ten yard marker be punctuated with some sort of exaggerated first down signal by the receiver?  Is there a halfback out there who can rip off a run longer than five yards without acting he just pulled Excalibur from a block of granite?

When did doing your job become a cause for exaggerated celebration?

Are these the times we live in?  What happened to America?  We’ve got a president who struts around proud-as-a-peacock over producing a form of identification.  We’ve got Kardashians running amok built on a foundation of one family member’s gigantic ass.  We’ve got a stupid TV show based on a stupid Napoleon Dynamite movie being advertised along side a stupid movie based on a stupid 21 Jump Street TV show.  What’s next?  The kid bagging my groceries breakdancing across the store because the eggs and bread aren’t smushed under the brisket when he’s done?

Am I supposed to believe a culture that tolerates celebration of the mundane possesses the fortitude to implement the course corrections necessary to address our looming economic collapse?  We are doomed, indeed.

Now there's an all-star lineup
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