“Come Out With Your Hands Up!”

You want an irrefutable sign that the government is getting too goddamned big and too goddamned intrusive and too goddamned nosy? I got one right here. The FDA is now telling this guy in California to stop giving away his sperm.


Mr. Arsenault isn’t selling his sperm. He isn’t making any kind of medical claims or assertions. He isn’t asking anything of value in exchange for his… specimens. He just posts online his relevant personal information and asks “you want a piece of me?”


And quite a few people apparently do. Mr. Arsenault has 14 children already, and is ready, willing, and able to keep on… going.


But the FDA says that he’s operating as a “manufacturer of human cells,” and say that they need to regulate his… specimen-gathering. I’m presuming that will involve pre-approved PC porn (featuring individuals of diverse ages, sexes, races, orientations, and disabilities), requiring Mr. Arsenault to join a union, mandatory “rest breaks,” and submitting his… “specimens” to an extensive battery of tests to make certain that they are not toxic, allergenic, hazardous, and certified to be effective (his 14 pre-existing progeny notwithstanding). Plus, he will have to carry extensive liability insurance and restrain his… “specimen-gathering” activities to OSHA-approved workplaces and activities.


God forbid he should end up with carpal tunnel syndrome.


If ever there was an argument for a governmental “hands-off” policy, it has to be this “hands-on” example. And while I’ve often accused bureaucrats as engaging in a form of masturbation in their never-ending quest to find rationalizations for their continued employment, I never saw this coming.


Unlike Mr. Amirault. (rimshot)

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