Shooting From The Lip

There’s a great freedom in being a blogger. I’m utterly divorced from responsibility, as I have no real power. Which means I can speak a hell of a lot more freely than actual candidates running for office. And I can cheerfully say the kinds of things that they’d never dare say within four miles of a live microphone. The following are things I’d sell body parts to hear from the candidates:

Herman Cain: “I’m not asking for special treatment from the media. I’d just like to get the same treatment they gave John Edwards and Bill clinton when they were accused of sexual improprieties.”

Mitt Romney: “Let’s just get this settled once and for all. I’d like to hold a free-wheeling discussion on religion and the part it plays in life, and I’d like to invite my fellow Mormon Harry Reid and President Obama, late of the Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, to join me. The President is welcome to bring his Telepompter.”

Newt Gingrich: “I’ll drop out of the race today if I can have a two-hour debate, like the one I had with Herman Cain, with Obama, Biden, or both.”

Rick Santorum: “I’d like all those people Googling my name and giggling to Google up ‘SCOAMF.'”

There’s a few. Wanna play along?

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