Occupy Wall Street Idiots: If You Want Us To Go Away, Just Destroy The Country And Stuff

Hey, have you been following the idiots with the “Occupy Wall Street” crowd? Yeah, me neither. But this “leftist response to the Tea Party” has been getting lots of headlines and attention lately. And in their brief existence, they’ve already surpassed the Tea Party in several key areas. For example, Greg Gutfeld noted that with 700 or so members arrested, they’ve already passed the Tea Party movement by about 700.

 

Anyway, these idealistic, energetic youths have issued their manifesto (courtesy Ace Of Spades):

 

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending “Freetrade” by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

Demand four: Free college education.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.

Let me put this in simple terms:

  1. Everyone gets more money now. Don’t ask where it comes from or what it will do for inflation; everyone gets more money!
  2. Shut down the entire health insurance industry, putting about 300,000 people out of work.
  3. Get rid of the incentive to work by more free money. Again, don’t ask where it will come from or what it will do for inflation. Weren’t you listening at #1?
  4. Even more free stuff. Colleges will be funded by the same money pixies that covered #1 and #3.
  5. Abolish the fossil fuel industry, putting about 6 million people out of work. Maybe they can get jobs with Solyndra or something.
  6. Hey, those money pixies have been getting lazy. Time for them to pony up another trillion bucks for “infrastructure.”
  7. And another trillion to rip up the kinds of things we build in #6. Oh, and let’s destroy the nation’s electrical generators. We currently get about 20% of our electricity from nuclear power, and another 70% from fossil fuels like coal, oil, and natural gas  (which we got rid of in #5), so we’ll get by on 10% of our current electrical supply.
  8. And everyone should be equal and nice to each other. OK, this one isn’t totally crazy, so good for them. Nice to see that they aren’t totally removed from reality; just really, really, really, really estranged.

 

Now here’s another fun thought: draw parallels with the demands of the Tea Party. The OWS idiots want to remake the entire nation — politically, economically, socially, and actual physical infrastructure. And by “remake,” I mean “wreck even faster and more permanently than Obama and Soros could even dream of.” On the other hand, the Tea Party’s demand boils down to one very simple sentiment: hey, government, stop spending so goddamned much of our money that we don’t have!

 

That’s the noble, youthful idealism that is supposed to “counter” the Tea Party. I’m suddenly overwhelmed with identifying with the fiercest of the pro-choice crowd — as I look at these idiots, I find myself wondering if it’s too late to abort them all.

 

Update: fixed response #7 to include all fossil fuels. My bad.

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