Now for some bi-partisan fun. Wizbang! Alien Theater presents . . .
HOSTED BY WIZBANG!'S RESIDENT UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN
Last year when I needed a job, my cousin Gordon suggested that I work as a clown. A clown? I didn’t know what a clown was.
Gordon told me that a clown was someone who was funny and who made people laugh.
The job sounded good to me, but I didn’t know where to find clowns. Thankfully, I overheard a couple of people mention a group of clowns located a short distance from the Potomac River. So, I went to visit them.
Upon my arrival, I found myself surrounded by clowns, but none of them were funny. I asked one of them, “How can you people be clowns if none of you can make people laugh?”
The person replied, “Sir, this is Congress, not a circus.”
“What’s the difference?” I asked.
The person looked at me like this: 
and then asked, “What planet are you from?”
“Melmac,” I replied, “Why do you ask?”
A Texas gentleman overheard our conversation, and he told me that I could find clowns at rodeos. He also said that a large rodeo was taking place in Las Vegas. I thanked the Texan for the information and then left.
I never did learn the difference between Congress and a circus.
Upon arriving in Las Vegas, I learned more about rodeo clowns.
I learned that rodeo clowns wear the coolest homemade costumes:
I learned that working as a rodeo clown is a barrel of fun:
However, working as a rodeo clown requires one to put up with alot of bull:
I said to myself that if I wanted to put up with alot of bull, then I’d return to Congress.
Thankfully, a cowboy overheard my lament, and he said that a different kind of clown could be found at parties. I liked what he said, and so I went to a party:
The cowboy was right. I like these clowns!
After the party, I asked my new girlfriends how much clowns get paid. “Oh, we’re not the kind of clowns that get paid,” they said, “To make money as a clown, you have to go to a circus.”
“But I’ve already been to Congress,” I replied.
They looked at me like this:
and said “Well, Congress does resemble a circus.”
“What’s the difference between the two?” I asked.
They replied, “A circus leaves after it takes your money. Congress takes your money but never leaves.”
I never did become a clown. Me being an undocumented alien makes me unelectable.
So, I went to work as a costumed character. The pay is good, but the job leaves me feeling dopey:
On the plus side, I have a female co-worker who likes short men:
She has this weird craving for apples. I, however, prefer melons.
