Who Wants To Shoot Sarah Palin?

Come on, admit it. Deep in your heart of hearts, there’s a part of you that would just love to take a shotgun to Sarah Palin. Or Newt Gingrich. Or Bill O’Reilly. Just pump a round into the chamber and blow them away.


Now you can! Or, at least, a virtual version of them. Well, a virtual, zombified version of them. (Hat tip: NRO.)


John Hopkins of Right Wing News has his own take on it, and an interesting idea — how about a right-wing version of it? Why not a game when you can go after some of the leaders and heroes of the left. But while John has a good idea and his… er… “execution” isn’t bad, he didn’t quite have the nerve to “pull the trigger.” (Sorry, but no other metaphors readily come to mind.)


Remember, the line has been crossed, so there’s absolutely no reason to hold back. After all, it’s all in fun, and it’s just a game, so go wild. And it’s not the real people, it’s Virtual Zombie versions of real people, so it doesn’t count.


(Confession: I don’t play first-person shooters, so some of these might be a little lame. I plead ignorance.)


Virtual Zombie Nancy Pelosi: Get her with a gun firing needles filled with Botox.


Virtual Zombie Barney Frank: Make him go down with a chain-fed Corn Dog gun.


Virtual Zombie Joe Biden: Vacuum Cleaner that yanks out his hair plugs — before it rips off his head.


Virtual Zombie Ted Kennedy: (Hey, he’s already dead, so it’s not much of a stretch.) Douse him with a barrel of Chivas and set him on fire.


Virtual Zombie George Soros: Throw him under a Virtual Nazi Cattle Car. Or crush him under a pile of money bags.


Virtual Zombie Keith Olbermann: Harpoon him, and watch all the hot air rush out as he flies around the screen.


Virtual Zombies Reverend Al Sharpton and Reverend Jesse Jackson: I thought about the double-ended noose, but instead club them with a giant crucifix.


Virtual Zombie Harry Reid: Beat him down with a giant gavel.


Virtual Zombie Rachel Maddow: Portal gun. Put the right kind of hole in front of her, and watch her dive for it.


Virtual Zombie Barack Obama: (Remember, Secret Service, this is all just fun! We’re just talking a computer game of a zombified version of the President of the United States! This isn’t a real threat!) Blow away his TelePrompters, and you render him helpless — he just stands there, an utterly powerless SCOAMF. (Sorry, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wimped out. Sue me. Just don’t sic the Secret Service on me.)


Just fun and games, folks. All’s fair. Just kidding around. Not inciting violence or even using violent rhetoric in the least.


You know what the best part of having the folks on the left “go there?” They always leave the door open behind them, allowing us to walk through ourselves.

Surreal Estate
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