Obama 2012: The Trailer

I think I’m seeing the trial balloons of what will be the big theme of Obama’s re-election campaign — or, at least, one of them. And it’s as ugly as it will be ineffective.


Obama: He Got Bin Laden.


That’s it. Of course, Obama himself won’t be pushing it, nor will his official campaign. The “unofficial” campaign, though, will be all over it.


It clicked in my head when I saw Kevin’s piece about the return of the killed Navy SEALS from Afghanistan. The families had asked there be no press coverage, and the Obama administration agreed. But they never said there would be no coverage at all, which is why there was the White House photographer there, with that iconic image of Obama saluting the return of the fallen heroes.


Here’s the caption they’ll put under it: The Commander-In-Chief salutes the fallen members of SEAL Team Six, the unit that finally got Osama Bin Laden.


This comes on the heels of word that the administration is giving unprecedented (there’s that word again) access to Hollywood as they prepare the movie version of “Get Bin Laden.” This big-budget blockbuster will, I’m sure, show how Obama courageously and valiantly listened as he was told of how the various intelligence agencies, after years and years of hard work, finally traced Bin Laden back to his lair. Then he was pressed with the hardest decision any Commander In Chief ever had to face: “do you want us to blow him up, shoot him, or try and take him alive?” After agonizing over this truly Solomonic dilemma, so far above his pay grade, he had to sleep on it. Obama — seventeen hours later — finally consulted his single most trusted advisor.


Sadly, that advisor spent fifteen minutes telling him “Reply hazy, try again,” “Ask again later,” “Better not tell you now,” “Cannot predict now,” and “Concentrate and ask again.” Finally, Leon Panetta gave his wise council and urged the president to listen to his inner voice: “For Christ’s sake, Barry, shit or get off the pot!”


It took a couple of coin flips, but finally “shoot him” prevailed. And so it was done.


Well, that’s how it probably should be portrayed. But this is Hollywood, which is still in love with the “Magical Negro” fantasy, will portray Obama as  decisive, insightful, resolute, determined, and brave, the hero of the piece.


And did I mention that this movie will be released about a month before the 2012 election?

Here’s another prediction: none of the people who are still bent out of shape over the Citizens United Supreme Court case will say a word about this. Remember the actual particulars of that case — a group put together a documentary running down Hillary Clinton, and wanted to put it on the air. The Federal Elections Commission said it was a violation of campaign finance laws, and said they couldn’t buy advertising for the airing. The Court struck down that decision (and the relevant part of McCain-Feingold law) as being a violation of the First Amendment.


Nor, I think, will those selfsame people mention how Obama, in his 2010 State Of The Union address, completely misstated the effects of that decision, saying it would “open the floodgates” for foreign money to buy influence in our elections. But that’s more a reflection of just how incompetent a Constitutional scholar the president, a former Constitutional Law lecturer, is, and not overly relevant here.


So there’s your 2012 theme. “Obama: He Got Bin Laden.” Reinforced by a thousand voices, all singing in unison, and written in blazing letters across the silver screen. The only question is, who will portray The Great Man?


Obama would probably want Samuel L. Jackson (a bit too old) or Michael Jai White. If they wanted to make it truly accurate, they’d get Jaleel White and have him hike his pants up to his armpits again.


No, that’s not fair. Steve Urkel was a genius. Obama… he’s an expert at faking it. And far too many people are invested in buying into his facade.

Bert and Ernie are outed and need to marry
But They Might Be Voters