The Empire Strikes Back?

Time is the great fool maker and timing is everything.   A bright, shining example is on display at the den of fools known as the New York Times editorial page courtesy of court jester Maureen Dowd.  Her message is in sync with the zeitgeist as defined by the media, her metaphors cutting and poignant, and most of all her timing is impeccable.

Her masterpiece is titled The Downgrade Blues, mentions the ratings downgrade only in passing, and goes where only the truly deranged could go.

BARACK OBAMA must wonder sometimes if his luck has run out.

Maybe he used it all up in 2008.

“Yes, we can!” has devolved into “Hey, we might.”

“When I said, ‘Change we can believe in,’ I didn’t say, ‘Change we can believe in tomorrow,’ ” he told an audience at a Chicago fund-raiser on Wednesday. “Not, ‘Change we can believe in next week.’ We knew this was going to take time, because we’ve got this big, messy, tough democracy.”

True enough, but not F.D.R.-inspiring to a deflated and desperate nation that may face higher borrowing rates after the shock of the first credit downgrade in United States history.

Barack Obama blazed like Luke Skywalker in 2008, but he never learned to channel the Force. And now the Tea Party has run off with his light saber.

Does that mean Biden is Yoda?  He does babble incoherently.  And who’s Han?  Dare I stereotype Holder as Lando?

Barack is blameless because he can’t control his luck?  Check.  FDR reference?  Check.  Obama is a superhero rendered defenseless by his evil foe?  Check.  The TEA Party is the evil villain?  Check.  Dowd hits for the cycle!

It keeps going from there.  Reagan shout out?  Check.  GHW Bush shout out?  Check.  W is an idiot and Obama’s problems are all his fault?  You betcha.

Then we get to the point where all the columnists in the office come up to her on Monday and say, “Damn, you picked a hell of a time to write a column about that.”

The one clear-cut, chesty victory that Obama has had may have come too late for beleaguered Americans to much care.

When the president is asked what it felt like to kill Osama, he’s low-key and modest, even though he personally refocused the mission to capture the 9/11 architect after W. dropped the ball.

He has told people what a thrill it was to meet Seal Team 6 — and the dog Cairo — which pulled off the hit, noting that the men looked less young and fearsome than he expected, and more like guys working at Home Depot.

But while Obama takes the high road, his aides have made sure there are proxies to exuberantly brag on him.

Obama killed Osama in same way that I banged Bree Olsen – by watching on a monitor with his dick in his hand.  What a hero.  But he did make the call – something every single other presidential candidate we’ve had since 2000 save Ron Paul and Ralph Nader (Kucinich?) would have done.  Did you know there’s a movie about it in the works?

The Sony film by the Oscar-winning pair who made “The Hurt Locker” will no doubt reflect the president’s cool, gutsy decision against shaky odds. Just as Obamaland was hoping, the movie is scheduled to open on Oct. 12, 2012 — perfectly timed to give a home-stretch boost to a campaign that has grown tougher.

I wonder if the movie will center around a plucky CIA agent trying to make her way in a man’s world.  An innocent bystander in a cruel game whose cover is blown by a mid-level State Department flunky in a not-all-too-clear attempt to discredit her husband’s uncomplimentary findings on the President.

Somehow I get the feeling movies showing the President in an unflattering light because he risked the lives of foreign operatives with top secret clearance by deliberately exposing them for purely political purposes became passe right about January 20, 2009.

I hope to God it’s just a coincidence and dumb luck that the brave men upon whose shoulders Obama and company took their victory parade were killed this weekend.  Somehow I get the feeling we’ll hear whispers out of Pakistan about rogue elements enraged by the public intrusion on their sovereign territory.

The Tea Party terrorists stole his light saber?  Now the freedom fighters in Afghanistan just cut off Puke “I”-Flaunter’s hand.  A new development that broke hours after Dowd filed her column.  A development which changes the take away from, “Everything is George Bush’s fault and Obama is a hero for killing Osama” to “Obama has made everything worse and he quite possibly got the men who risked their lives to take down Osama killed in his rush to pat himself on the back.”

Great timing, Maureen.  Can’t wait to see how you pin this one on Bush.

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