Holy Terrors

There’s a report out of England that finds that Christians are more militant than Muslims when it comes to integrating into society.


And it’s a relief to hear that. I’ve been noticing the same here, but have been too afraid to say anything — before now.


My own quiet little corner of New Hampshire is a veritable hotbed of tensions and hatreds.

Just down the road, there’s a Catholic church. The priest has threatened to behead anyone who sells condoms.


On the other side of the town green, there’s a Methodist church. They’re holding a bake sale this weekend to buy car bombs.


A local dance club shut down after a Baptist suicide bomber blew himself up in it.


The Seventh Day Adventists one town south recently burned down a liquor store for opening on a Saturday.


The local Mormons (yeah, we got them, too) didn’t appreciate the recent broadcast of the Tonys, complete with a scene from “The Book Of Mormon.” They rioted and torched the local TV station.


There’s a blood feud going on between the Episcopalians and the Congregationalists, and it’s already claimed at least a dozen innocent lives. I think it started over hymnals.


Finally, there are the Jews. They’re about to pack up and head somewhere more safe — like Israel. At least there, they say, they only have to worry about the Muslims. And Islam, as they say, is a religion of peace.

There's something about Jon Stewart...
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