Only In The L.A. Times

(I wanted to post this Saturday, but I got side-tracked by a few unforeseen events.  This is a little late, but, no less putrid.)

When in doubt, you can always count on the L.A. Slimes to offer up some type of happy-liberal-horse dung.

This past Friday, a particularly odious op-ed piece appeared in their slobbering liberal pages.

An air-headed dunce named Megan Daum wrote a piece claiming that a “lot of people” think Obama has some sort of speech impediment. (Her evidence for this is culled from a few reader responses to another of her columns, unsurprisingly written about Sarah Palin.)

I was going to paraphrase the analysis offered by this starry-eyed urchin, but, to truly appreciate her slobbering appreciation of Obama, it’s better to read from her own hand.

From the L.A. Times:

Megan Daum:  Obama’s fast brain vs slow mouth

It’s not that the president can’t speak clearly; he employs the intellectual stammer.

Apparently, a lot of people consider President Obama to be bumblingly inarticulate. “The guy can’t talk his way out of a paper bag!” a reader wrote to me recently. “Sarah Palin is a brilliant speaker. It’s the president whose sentences are undiagrammable,” said another in response to a column I wrote about Palin. It’s not just my readers, nor is it exclusively conservatives, who hold this view. A Google search of “does Obama have a speech impediment” turns up several pages of discussion among the president’s supporters and critics alike.Admittedly, the president is given to a lot of pauses, “uhs” and sputtering starts to his sentences. As polished as he often is before large crowds (where the adjective “soaring” is often applied to his speeches), his impromptu speaking frequently calls to mind a doctoral candidate delivering a wobbly dissertation defense.

Um.. Who exactly claims him to be “bumblingly inarticulate?” (Certainly not Joe Biden.) Siting TWO whole examples of anonymous feedback received from some snippy smear article about Sarah Palin qualifies this as a “lot of people?

(Conveniently, the links she supplies to justify writing her astute observations don’t take you to the evidence on which she bases her conclusions, so you can’t actually determine the validity for yourself.)

And her Google search reference? Nothing more then a juvenile attempt to present a moot point as fact. As any active Google user knows, he/she/it can pretty much type in whatever they desire. Unsurprisingly, they will find, well, whatever they want! (Just type anything. Type some inane babble that rolls out of your head, and you will most likely find it’s out there! I just typed in ‘obama angel felt finger puppet’, and (gasp!), such a thing exists!)

The estimable Ms. Daum forges on:

But consider this: It’s not that Obama can’t speak clearly. It’s that he employs the intellectual stammer. Not to be confused with a stutter, which the president decidedly does not have, the intellectual stammer signals a brain that is moving so fast that the mouth can’t keep up. The stammer is commonly found among university professors, characters in Woody Allen movies and public thinkers of the sort that might appear on C-SPAN but not CNN. If you’re a member or a fan of that subset, chances are the president’s stammer doesn’t bother you; in fact, you might even love him for it (he sounds just like your grad school roommate, especially when he drank too much Scotch and attempted to expound on the Hegelian dialectic!).

Blaaaaraaaaff.. Pardon me.. I just vomited all over my keyboard.

“Intellectual stammer?” For corn’s sake. How much more biased can you get than to make up some freaking high-minded psychological condition to provide outlandish excuses for your favorite politician? Was this written as a poor attempt at humor, or is this a new clinically diagnosed phenomenon to which this liberal freak-a-zoid so blindly subscribes?

Hey. Admittedly, Obama is no dummy. He may be an American-bashing-pseudo-socialist-elitist-narcissist-goof, but he’s a smart one, And his ability to read prepared speeches off a telepromter to his frothing cult-like zombies is second to none. But take TOTUS away from him, and he’s proved to be an incompetent ‘stammering’ embarrassment.

Townhalls, talk shows, impromptu events: Any time he has to ab-lib or speak off the cuff, his speeches contain more stammering and inarticulate communication then Lou Costello on crank.

Add to this his monotonous, droning, rambling answers during press conferences, and his responses turn into verbal Ambien.

I digress. The Daum-ster continues:

“If you’re not, chances are you find yourself yelling “get to the point already!” at the television screen every time Obama’s search for the right word seems to last longer than the search for Osama bin Laden. (Insert huge belly laugh!)  And thanks to its echoes of the college lecture hall, you make think it comes across as ever so slightly (or more than slightly) left wing.”

Ugh.

Megs then ventures into a bizarre lengthy compare/contrast rant about William F. Buckley, claiming, among other things, that “if the people critiquing Obama’s meandering speech patterns were to see an old “Firing Line” segment, I daresay they would think Buckley was drunk or otherwise impaired.”

Cripes! Just because Buckley (sans a teleprompter) could communicate in big-people words which, due to your insufficient comprehension skills, make you crawl under your desk into the fetal position, doesn’t mean Obama is on intellectual par with the man. Buckley, by the way, never ran for nor was President. In any event, Megan, at least make an attempt to try and retain a bit of dignity. Showering us with visions of your personal insecurities is quite unbecoming.

Here Megs.. Take a look at this article from The Toronto Sun which documents a short litany of gaffes your smooth-talking messiah has made. (While reading, think what you and your boot-licking media whores would say if these “intellectual” stammers had been committed by George W. Bush.)

Let’s see..

So far, during his tenure as President, Obama has shown a particularly remarkable gift for “intellectual stammering” when it applies to our British allies. A few of his earlier hits:

     -To Prime Minister Gordon Brown, he returned a bust of Winston Churchill, a man who was officially proclaimed an “Honorary American Citizen” by President John F. Kennedy.

     -He gave Gordon Brown a 25 DVD set of American movies. Inexplicably, they were in the wrong format for European DVD players. (In comparison, Brown’s gifts were downright magnanimous.)

     -He gave the Queen of England an IPod with his OWN FRIGGIN’ SPEECHES.

His recent stay in England proved time has not dulled this ability, heading a painfully embarrassing visit of bumbling concerning our Anglo-Saxon chums:

     -His toast to the Queen of England was absolutely cringe-worthy. He actually read the toast off of index cards. INDEX CARDS! And he still mangled the correct protocol. (If you haven’t seen this already, it is a priceless watch. Somewhere, Hillary must still be snickering.)

      -He signed the guestbook at Westminster Abbey with the date of “24 May, 2008.”

      -His limo got stuck on a hump coming out of the American Embassy in Ireland(True, not his fault, but the symbolism could not be more apt.)

Damn, he’s smooth, isn’t he?

WelI, it ain’t not his fault us here common yokels cain’t unnerstan’ it. Guess-un he and you’s is just too wicked smart! Bless Moses ya’ll is here fer us so’s you cain learn us rubes right! (Or left, as it were.)

Megan, you really ought to be thankful there are still so many biased rags around like the L.A. Times that are more than willing to print examples of your absurd liberally-bias effluent. That you actually believe what you write is quite disturbing.

And, while you’re at it, count your lucky stars that “Smell-O-Net” hasn’t come out yet.

If articles were scratch-n-sniff, yours would smell like a hobo’s ass.

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