This is kind of a sad story, but with my sick sense of humor I was stuck with the above title in my head and just couldn’t let it go to unused. I’d like to apologize in advance for being such a twisted, unfeeling bastard.
CHICAGO (STMW) – A man who tied sheets together and
used them to try and lower himself out a window of a nursing home
accidentally fell and died Wednesday morning in the Logan Square
neighborhood on the Northwest Side.
The lieutenant said it appeared [the victim] had been trying to “escape”
the home by using the sheets to lower himself out of a window, but
accidentally fell 10 to 20 feet.
Like I said, not funny to a normal human. Anyone who’s offended can take solace in knowing I’ll likely suffer my eventual demise by autoerotic asphyxiation.