(WB) – Washington – Authorities continue to investigate the fatal collision between President Obama’s Teleprompter (TOTUS) and a political blog’s popular photo caption contest. TOTUS survived but is in critical condition. The caption contest passed away at the scene.
Democrats and Republicans differed over responsibility for the accident, while President Obama cancelled all appearances for the time being. Witnesses at the scene said TOTUS appeared to be intoxicated, while White House sources claimed it was a coincidence TOTUS spent the evening with Charlie Sheen. Republicans bemoaned the incident as ‘an attack on the rights of all Americans to laugh at the stupid, the ludicrous, and the reckless’. Democrats complained that President Obama had been the focus of the caption contest too often. Gilbert Gottfried was unavailable for comment.
In lieu of flowers, mourners are asked to heckle politicians in person rather than just on websites.