Whither Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, and the Tin Man?

Inquiring minds want to know, Why is Obama Scary Skinny?  The good folks at the National Enquirer (two words for naysayers – John Edwards) are reporting that stomach parasites are at least partly to blame for the incredible shrinking President.

The real reason behind PRESIDENT OBAMA‘s shocking weight loss – he’s secretly battling stomach parasites, say sources.

The pencil-thin president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, according to top political insiders.

“Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar,” revealed a close source.

“There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them.”

Seems like a plausible enough explanation, although Barack Obama returning to the physique he’s had his entire life other than the 18 month span during the 2008 campaign doesn’t strike me as unusual.  I’m more curious about a rail-thin politician suddenly packing on 30 pounds of muscle in the course of six months while he’s traveling every day during a presidential campaign.

Surely we all remember the sun glinting off Barack “Adonis” Obama’s chiseled pectorals.

He was on the juice.  I have no doubt that the fightin’, muscled Obama of 2008 has become the perpetually-aggrieved, skeletal (their word, not mine) Obama of 1975-2007 because he was using steroids during his campaign for President.  Just a pet theory I’ve been kicking around for a while.  It will be interesting to see if beanpole Obama pumps back up again as we draw closer to November 2012

So Much For That Whole Civility Thing...
A Heaping Helping of Schadenfreude from Tom Maguire