I don’t like Geraldo Rivera. I haven’t liked him for decades. I think it’s atrocious that he’s on Fox News. And today, I think I have a truly wonderfully evil idea.
Fox News should get rid of Geraldo, cancel his Saturday night show…
and offer the slot to Keith Olbermann.
Tell him “Keith, here’s an hour. Have fun. Plus, once a week you gotta do 15 minutes on another of our shows, our choice. If you can pull in the ratings, more power to ya; we’ll keep you on. If they tank (which, by Fox standards, is anything less than roughly triple his best ratings ever on MSNBC), you’re history. Here’s a six-month contract for half what you were making over there; at the end, we’ll look at the numbers and renegotiate.”
Let’s face it. Olbermann’s a Dead Man Walking. He’s Juan Williams without the fallback position. He might make it back to ESPN as a professional jock-sniffer (I don’t care about sports, but I hear he was pretty good at that), or Puffington Host or Daily Beast might throw him a bonebut he’s pretty much history.
Imagine the anguish and heartbreak that would befall Keef if the only people willing to throw him a bone is none other than his hated enemies at Fox News. Further, they’d be doing it with very little strings or restrictions on his content; he’d have to live by the very same code of conduct and standards as Bill O’Reilly or Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity.
Further, once a week he’d have to go on their show and opine at their command. He’d be face to face with his mortal enemies. (Well, his enemies; they barely see him as a pest.)
And MSNBC? They’d lose their biggest draw (which is like saying “tallest midget”) to the hated competition.
Why should Fox do it? Because it will show everyone that Fox is the only major news outlet that actually tolerates dissent and welcomes on folks of all political persuasions.
And just imagine the sheer entertainment value of watching Olbermann having to spend an hour a week where he can’t demonize Fox News without having to also acknowledge that he’s doing so on Fox News, while cashing a Fox News paycheck. Which one week would be signed by Rupert Murdoch, the next O’Reilly, the next Beck, the next Sarah Palin…
Imagine him explaining to Greta Van Susteren how calling Michelle Malkin a “mashed-up bag of meat with lipstick” isn’t misogynistic. Or going on Hannity and debating Sarah Palin. Or being interviewed by Bill O’Reilly. (We can call it the Bathtub With Loofah Hour.)
Oh, lord, the mere thought of this unfolding…
I’ll SO be in my bunk.