Should Be A Short Hearing

Eric Balderas, the illegal alien Harvard student who was caught while trying to board a plane from Texas last week, has been released from custody and immediate deportation taken off the table pending his hearing on his immigration status. In addition, he can now apply for a work permit.

In my mind, his eventual hearing will be a brief one.

“Mr. Balderas, when did you enter the United States?”

“In 1995.”

“How old were you at the time?”

“Four years old.”

“And who brought you?”

“My mother.”

“How did she get into the country?”

“She sneaked across the border.”

“You’re nineteen years old now, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“At what point did you realize you were in the country illegally?”

“I don’t really remember.”

“Was it before your eighteenth birthday?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Since your eighteenth birthday, what steps have you taken to correct your illegal status?”

“None, sir.”

“Did you use your Mexican passport as a form of identification?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Even after it expired?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did you ever try to renew it?”

“No, sir.”

“At any point in your adult life, have you taken any steps at all to correct your illegal status?”

“Objection! Asked and answered.”

“Withdrawn. So, you’re a sophomore at Harvard, correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“On a full scholarship?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Pursuing a degree in molecular and cellular biology?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What was your plan for when you got your degree?”

“I’d go on to an advanced degree.”

“Sorry, let me be clearer. Once you completed your education, what was your career plan?”

“I don’t know. I might go into research, or I might go into education.”

“How?”

“I’m sorry?”

“How could you get a job — either in the private sector or in the public sector — while an illegal alien?”

“Um…”

“Did you have any plans at all to ever address your illegal status?”

“Yes! Someday…”

“‘Someday.’ Perhaps, some day when ‘comprehensive immigration reform’ is passed and you could apply for amnesty?”

“Well, sure.”

“So, until then, you planned to just keep your head down, your nose clean, and hope you didn’t get caught?”

“Um… yeah.”

“As a biologist, I presume you’re familiar with basic human biology.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then I presume you’ve heard the phrase ‘hope is not a method’ before?”

“Objection! Argumentative!”

“Withdrawn. So, Mr. Balderas, how did that ‘hope method’ work out for you?”

“Not very well.”

“I’d have to agree. So, now that it’s failed, what are your plans?”

“Um… try to get right with the law, I guess.”

“And would that ‘getting right’ involve garnering as much public sympathy as you can while you jump to the front of the line for legal immigrants?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Mr. Balderas, every year millions and millions of people apply to come to the United States legally. They fill out the forms, pay the fees, and in general respect the laws of this nation that they wish to come to. In addition, every year many, many more who are here illegally take steps to fix that, turning themselves in and starting the process to determine if they are allowed to stay. Why should you jump ahead of them?”

“I was just a kid when my mother brought me here. I didn’t choose to break the law.”

“Yes, you were just a child. And no one blames you for that. It wasn’t your fault. But you’re not a child now. You haven’t been a child for over a year. During that year, your illegal status was your responsibility. You had the duty to start the process towards becoming a legal resident and, possibly, even a citizen. And you didn’t. Instead, you just put it off and put it off, in the hopes that the problem would just go away. And if it didn’t, you’d just hope for the best. Does that sum it up fairly accurately?”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“I’m not surprised. But here’s some good news for you: the current regime in Washington, like you, doesn’t give a rat’s ass about enforcing immigration laws. They are actually fighting to keep the borders from actually meaning anything. And they see everything through a political lens. Which means that they don’t ascribe to any principles other than winning. They see catering to illegal aliens as a way to pick up more votes, and tend to see their political opponents as the greatest threat to the nation. So I have no doubt that your situation will be used as an example. You’ll be given a slap on the wrist, if even that. And others in similar straits will see that and instead of taking that as a warning to get themselves right with the law, will instead keep on hoping to go unnoticed until this fantasy ‘amnesty’ comes about. And even more people will come to the United States illegally, because only idiots will bother going through the legal process when they get shoved to the back of the line ahead of the illegals.”

“Now get out of here, kid. You’ve wasted far too many resources of my nation — my nation, not yours — already. And be sure to register to vote as a Democrat. Here’s the number for the local office of ACORN — they’ll get you squared away. And here’s the number for the SEIU — they’ll hook you up with a job and get you paying your union dues.”

“Um… vote? Work? I don’t have any of my papers for that.”

“Haven’t you been paying attention, kid? That don’t mean shit any more.”

Ships Of Fools, Part III: Hiding Behind Skirts
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