It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Monday morning.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
“Gaawk – Excuse me gentlemen, I think I just inhaled a fly.”
Much like those who watch his movies, everyone who listened to his testimony felt that it was 90 minutes of their lives they’ll never get back.
Even the portraits on the wall are laughing!
Am I an expert? I have one word for you – “Waterworld”
If you build it, it will suck.
I invoke the rule of 8, and challenge you for the control of the country.
“…but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express lastnight.”
Dances with Idiots…
“No Speaker Pelosi, Chevy Chase was Wally World, I’m Waterworld.”
Ahh – hell I forgot what I was going to say.
Mr Costner testifies to Congress on the ruling that using his movies on captured terrorists is legally considered torture.
New York Post Headline:
Costner to DC From Hollywood. Raises IQ of Both Cities.
“I did not have sex with that woman in the gulf!”
Well Congressman, unlike James Cameron, my proposal is real. As you can see in front of you, I have actually prepared the script…
There is no way He costs more then Berry?
God!! Hes aging faster than Barry.
Field of Dreams – The Retirement Years
“I have not ever used any performance enhancing substances – Wait, does Viagra count?”
Do you have any credentials besides acting in Fishtar?
Crooked picture, unbalanced individual
A hollywood moron testifies to a bunch of criminals and idiots on a subject that neither of them could possibly understand and then people wonder why the government doesn’t actually work.
“…so let the big dog eat… Oh you wanted advice on the Gulf? I thought you said golf.”
I’ve got all the smarts of an ingrown lychee nut, and if it wasn’t for this big sign, I wouldn’t know who I am…
Tin Schlup.
Looking at Mr. Costner, I think we can all agree that the top kill process is not just for oil wells, if you know what I mean.
This is what you call “rock stupid”.
You’ve got to wonder just who is stupider: Costner for thinking he has something important to say, Congress for inviting him, or us for being ultimately responsible for the whole mess…
There are few things in this world more dense than the mind of a Hollywood actor. Just a few of them could probably plug that leak.
I’m just saying…
I repeat. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
“Are you now, or have you ever been a Hollywood actor?”
Hey, we can dream, can’t we?
“I think I’m the best person to fix this oil spill. Remember, I have gills behind my ears, and webbed feet…”
I have no idea why I am here.
Look on the bright side. The budget for “Waterworld” still exceeds all costs of the entire Gulf clean-up operation.
Yes, it’s true. Barack Obama was the inspiration for my character in “No Way Out.”
“Senator, speaking as an expert on water disasters ….”
When Congress starts looking to Hollywood for ideas, you know we’re screwed.
Costner’s waiting for someone to give him his lines.
And in Washington today Kevin Costner stood in for a busy Bill Curtis to help explain the finer points of using Google to Rep. Russ Carnahan (D-Mo).
I was told there would be a teleprompter.
In “The Economy of Dreams”, if you stimulate it, it will grow.
I have a warehouse filled with vehicles and a oil tanker all ready to go just as soon as Dennis Hopper can get it underway. Oops sorry forget about Dennis.
I built a machine to separate oil from water and I knew you would come.
Back and to the left … the trajectory of our economy is clearly going back and to the left … back and to the left …
Look. John Wayne played an oil well firefighter in the Hellfighters. My politics are a lot better than that caveman conservative so I obviously know more about plugging oil leaks than Duke did. That’s what makes me an expert.
Listen..
I protected Whitney Houston in “The Bodyguard,” and she’s a mess.
I think I can handle this.
“Why am I here? I was the star in Waterworld, wasn’t I? That makes me an instant expert.”
After sitting quietly at the table for several minutes an alert Congressman thought to say “Action” & Kevin Costner started talking. Now the question is how long to let him talk before saying “Cut”.
Scene One, Act One: John “Capper” Stone (played by me) is enjoying a family barbeque, when suddenly the phone rings…
Mr. Costner, awestruck by the void that is congress.
Mr. Chairman, while I appreciate the confidence you have shown by inviting me here to testify, the fact is that I’m an ACTOR, not an expert. What you saw was not a documentary or a news report, but a MOVIE. It was FICTION.
My God, what the hell is wrong with you people?
Tatanka! Tatanka!….TATANKA!!!!