Spare the rod?

One thing I never considered before commenting on Temple, TX reinstituting corporal punishment in the local high school was just how Texans’ embrace of corporal and capital punishment is viewed by the rest of the country and world. I never considered it because we like things the way they are here and we don’t need anyone sitting in Monte Carlo, Beverly Hills, London, Paris, Rome, or Gstaad telling us how to live our lives. A commenter was kind enough to point out we appear to be cavemen, corporal punishment doesn’t work, and our murder/crime rate in Texas is a global shame.

We’re not just a national shame. We’re bad. We’re so bad, we’re international. Maybe even intergalactic. We’re the shame of a globe that doesn’t really seem to give two hoots in hell about Darfur. A few million African animists and peasants slaughtered with machetes is one thing, some unruly high school kids swatted on the ass with a paddle? That’s a shaming.

Darfur is just a ridiculous extreme, of course. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Texas is, in your opinion, a global shame and we should comport ourselves in a manner more to your and supposedly the world’s liking. An easy target, right? No rational individual would condone child abuse, a label that can be ascribed to any discipline falling outside the bounds of enlightened judgment. Like how making KSM uncomfortable now qualifies as torture.

So despite the fact a large enough majority of people in Texas (and 20 other states) are comfortable with and willing to live with the consequences of corporal and capital punishment, a liberal New York congresscritter can impose her morality on us at no cost to her or her constituents. Why should they care about Texans’ freedom to live as they choose.

But take down an actual murderous dictator like Saddam Hussein and you’re a goddamned pariah.

Why is it a global shame like Texas has the highest rate of people moving here from other states every single year? The mess our state is in crime wise being self evident on a globally significantly scale and all. What rational person would emigrate from a jobless, crime-free paradise like Detroit for a vibrant, murderous hellhole like Dallas?

If there’s one thing our federal government does fairly well, it’s accumulate data. Thanks to the Internet we can now easily access things like, oh say, federal statistics on Crime Rate by State.

Texas has a murder rate per 100,000 of 5.9 – 29th in the US. Maybe nothing to be proud of, but hardly even a national shame. No, that would be the Federal Fiefdom of Washington D.C with a rate five times higher than Texas – 30.8 murders per 100,000 people. They don’t use corporal punishment in D.C., but then again they don’t even punish local politicians caught with hookers and crack. If only they had a Representative and two Senators to speak for them…

Because none of the current 535 live anywhere near there. It’s not like legislating is a full time job, right? Here in Texas the Legislature only meets for a month or two every other year.

Michigan’s is higher. Illinois’ is the same as Texas. Shameful.

California is higher too. Ditto Arizona and New Mexico. Texas has the lowest murder rate of the southern border states. I’m not saying it’s all thanks to ass whoopings and lethal injections, but facts are facts. The murder rate in Texas is lower than any state surrounding it. I guess that means we’re really not even a regional shame.

But let’s not gloss over the border state thing either. There are a whole lot of folks here in Texas that came illegally. Lots of them are pretty good people. A few not so much. So a disparately large share of that murder rate is killings exported to the US as a matter of policy by a corrupt, indifferent, and incompetent Mexican government.

We also have two of the five largest metropolitan areas in the US and San Antonio is 9th. Big urban areas breed crime. Considering the size, diversity, and density of the population in Texas our methods actually appear quite sound.

There’s only one way to achieve low murder rates – small, homogeneous populations. Like Japan. Nine states have murder rates below 2 people per 100,000 – Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Montana, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Vermont. What to they have in common? Ninety percent-plus cracker and every single person in any one of those states would fit in Houston with room to spare for every single person in any one of the other states. Hawaii is the exception with no mega-super majority ethnicity like the others. None of them allow corporal punishment either.

And this is right about the point I get called a racist. For sure, I mean. Like if it didn’t already happen by paragraph two. It’s uncomfortable for some people to go there, but in this post racial era with science returned to its rightful place I feel we can enjoy a rational discussion based on facts. Some demographics, for whatever reasons, are more likely to commit murder than others. Why is the question, and tragically one for which there is no answer. It’s not from a lack of trying.

I have my theories, but they’re all crackpot teabagging stuff like death-spiral dependency on big government handouts and the soft bigotry of low expectations. That almost sounds trite, doesn’t it?

Remember when they were going to cane that American kid who peed on some diplomat’s car or something in Singapore? Was there an international outcry or was it more of a shut up and take your medicine you punk kid vibe? If it was the take your medicine thing, do you think it might have been because of Texas? That’s awesome. Maybe at least indirectly because of Bush?

Which is neither here nor there anyway. What’s at issue is the paddling of high school students, with paddles, under the unanimous consent of the school board. Surely the spirit of tolerance demands you reserve judgment on our culture. As I’ve said before, corporal punishment is acceptable to a large enough majority of Texans it’s not going to be banned. We fully understand and accept the short and long term outcomes of using it. Many of us know from experience its effectiveness at minimizing smart ass, disruptive behavior.

At the very least, it taught you to make quick value judgments on the risk vs. reward of unacceptable behavior. I heard the expression “give you enough rope to hang yourself” more than a few times in my salad days. Some people don’t make those value judgments well. Paddling may not cure it, but it can identify the people who need extra guidance or a more remedial environment.

We feel like we’re getting along fine without your help or guidance. There are costs associated with freedom, and Texans prefer certain freedoms coupled with responsibility for one’s actions to the alternative sacrificing liberty for a slightly lower risk. You just keep on like that and see what happens. We like our miscreants paddled and our capital murderers executed. If that bothers you then leave. If you’re not here then why do you care and why can’t you just mind your own business?

Big deal, when I was a pup we got spanked by Presidents ’til the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions. And that’s why your no-good kids are running wild.

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