The L Word

At the Tea Party Convention this weekend, professional gadfly Andrew Breitbart got into it with some folks from World Net Daily about the “birther” issue. For those who’ve been living under a rock for the past two years, that’s the term for those people who — to put it charitably — have unresolved doubts as to whether or not President Obama was actually born in Hawaii and is therefore Constitutionally eligible to serve as president.

Breitbart’s main argument seems to be that it is a “loser” argument. And he’s right.

Speaking strictly for myself, I am 99.44% convinced that Obama was born in Hawaii, is an American citizen by birth, and eligible to be president. And that’s more than enough certainty for me.

The arguers against Obama’s eligibility base their arguments on several grounds, and I’m not going to go into them in their obsessive meticulous detail. Suffice it to say that there is enough circumstantial evidence and supporting documentation that I really, really don’t want to get into the issue on a “factual” basis. (I spent way too many years as an amateur scholar of the Kennedy assassination, and that burned up my conspiracy glands.)

But let’s look at the “birthers” from a slightly more strategic level.

First up, what are they achieving now? Well, for one, they’re giving Obama’s supporters a ton of cover. While they’re chasing this mythical “proof,” they’re NOT looking at what he’s doing right now. By obsessing in what may or may not have happened on August of 1961 in Hawaii, or Kenya, or Indonesia, or Iceland, they’re not paying attention to what’s going on in DC today.

For another, they — let’s face it — come across as silly. And that lets Obama’s backers tar all of his detractors with a very broad brush, and distract from things that really matter.

For one more, I have to ask: what is their long-term goal? Let’s play this out. Suppose they get proof that the Hawaiian Certificate of Live Birth is faked, and they get proof Obama was born in Kenya. Then what?

Well, it’s way, way too late to overturn the election. Obama was certified as the winner, and his administration has been running things for for over a year. McCain and Palin admitted defeat and have moved on.

Congratulations, birthers. You’ve just given us President Joe Biden. Smooth move, assholes.

I’d be willing to bet that President Biden wouldn’t run for a term of his own, so we’d have a lame duck president in 2012. And at that point, we’d have an open presidency, like in 2000, The Democratic nominee would be able to distance himself or herself from the Obama/Biden administration’s record, and wouldn’t have to defend all the screwups they’ve made.

To the birthers: hang it up. It’s over. You lost. It’s not likely you ever had a chance of winning, and it’s far less likely now — if not impossible.

Put your energies into finding better candidates for 2012, for documenting all the failures, mistakes, flubs, and errors for that race, and fighting fights where you might actually win, and might actually win something.

‘Cuz all you’re doing here is making the big L on your foreheads even bigger and bigger.

And you’re getting the ink on the rest of us, too.

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