It’s Friday, which means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Given the subject matter I’m running the contest a few hours early. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Monday morning.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
Dave, I’m trying to read right now. You can give me that H-Job later…
“Mr. President, I did have sexual relations with that woman, the staffer…..”
Bill Clinton puruses Dave’s little black book. Slept with her…and her…and her….wait a minute….I think I missed her…
Well, sure Dave, it’s a classic case of sexual harassment in the workplace except for one thing. You’re FOR abortion.
Gets you a complete pass.
Perv and Pervier
You see Bill, my list IS longer than yours. Of course I had more choice of places than the hallway outside the Oval office.
Was Paul one of the staffers?
I see how you were able to string along that ugly chick for 23 years Dave.
Dave, did you actually buy them each a Sarah Palin wig, or just reuse the same one?
Geez Obama is going to crap his pants when he starts reading this
Deviancy and Hypocrisy
Bill, you’re joking right? Do you think I’d go public without having first paid off the women to be quiet? Surely you don’t think I’m as dumb as you are.
She says, “I’m sorry, I thought there was supposed to be a staff meeting now”
So I say “There is, I would like you to meet my “Staff”…
So, Mr. President, is it as good as your intern story?
Close, but no cigar.
Comparing entertainment affairs with affairs of state.
Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it Bill?
Welcome to the first Philanderer’s Anonymous meeting. I took the liberty of preparing a few bylaws(mostly names and numbers, wink, wink.)
That’s right, Dave. You, me, Roman Polanski, and the dear departed Ted Kennedy – we’re all just victims here.
Former President Bill Clinton thumbs through his little black book to find some job applicants for Letterman’s staff.
You know Bill, it’s true what they say… you really can’t eat just one
“You know Dave, I wrote the book on it.”
What’s another word for thesaurus?
– Steven Wright
Here it is. Praise the Lord that Jesse showed me this Bible verse.
I see you underline the dirty parts too.
I knew you’d enjoy it, a whole book on the definition of “is”.
BC: Oh this? This is a collection of all the jokes you made about me in the 90s.
“stop me if you’ve hear this one….
One sexual deviant said to the other …”
“Now wait a minute, you said our conversation was off the record.”
Yes david, after looking at the picture, it was a maduro Churchill i used on monica.
Yeah, I had a few affairs but I never inhaled.
“I’m sure glad I brough along my copy of ‘Arguing With Idiots'”
That would be:
“I’m sure glad I brought along my copy of ‘Arguing With Idiots'”
Looks like you and me bang a few of the same girls! (either one could say this)
That should have been: Looks like you and me banged a few of the same girls.
Bill Clinton: I was hitting on the White House press corp a lot – want to see Helen Thomas naked? Had her in the Oval Office too ya know!
Bill Clinton: It’s right here in the Book of Genesis: When God[Obama] began to create heavens and earth, and the earth then was welter and waste and darkness over the deep and God’s breath hovering over the waters, God [Obama] said, ‘Let there be light.’ and there was light”
Thought bubble over BC’s head:”I don’t know why he’s got that stupid smile on his face… I screwed one intern and he’s got a whole damn book of them and look what happened to me.”
Yeah, I think she was pretty hot too. Wait to you get to the names in Volume Three.
Dave: “So I fixed things by making false promises and writing a fake check”
Bill: “Well Dave, that’s how Congress gets it done!”
Dave, why are the Kama Sutra pages stuck together?
Birds of a feather….
Add a female employee in the middle and these two stale slices of white bread make a Dodd/Kennedy sandwich.
“Looky right here, Dave. It’s the funniest one! #7 Thou shall not commit adultry! We’re in trouble Buddy!”
Q: (Bill) “How much did it cost to actually bind your little black book?”
A: (David) “$2 Million.”
Like two peas in a pod
Or:
Like two pees in the pool
Top Ten Reasons To Believe Dave Letterman Wants To Have Sex With You
#10. Richard Simmons shows up at your home and hands you a business thong to wear to your job interview with Dave Letterman.
#9. During his monologue, Dave Letterman cornholes Paul Shaffer while screaming your name, phone number and address.
#8. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman throws his pants instead of a pencil through the fake window.
#7. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman introduces you to President Clinton as “My New Zipper Blotter”.
#6. Dave Letterman sends his mother to your house with a fresh-baked apple pie and a picture of his wife.
#5. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you on top of third base during a Yankees game .
#4. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you during a Yankees game on top of Alex Rodriguez.
#3. The name of the company at the top of your pay check changes from “World Wide Pants, Inc.” to “Guess What I Have In My Pants For You, Inc.”
#2. In his “CBS Mail Bag” spot, Dave Letterman opens your mail and reads his letter threatening to fire you if you don’t have sex with him.
#1. In his “Stupid Pet/Human Tricks” spot, Dave Letterman wears a leash and dry humps your leg.
The Master and The Apprentice
My lie. By Bill Clinton.
Dave, this might come in handy for you. See here… This is what the definition of “is” is.
“Did her… yeah… but I’ll spot you a draft pick for this brunette.”