Oh, Yeah…

…I’m back.

Along with the duck and the mallet.

As wonderful as the Contentions gig was, I simply couldn’t sustain it. It became too much like work. It was too serious. It was too responsible.

Oh, I enjoy doing that, but I need more.

I need to write angry, hypernationalist pieces like “Trophies.” I want to write personal, irritated pieces like “You Should Know I’ve Killed A Lot Of Old People In My Time, And I’m Not Above Doing It Again.” I want to get ultra-partisan and write “Why Aren’t You Dead Yet, You Oxygen-Thieving Waste Of Skin?”

But with the exclusivity part of my agreement with Contentions, I couldn’t write them.

(Oh, great, now I actually gotta WRITE those.)

Anyway, folks, I missed you — commenters and colleagues alike. As for my new colleagues… I look forward to sharing column-space with you all.

And thanks for leaving the WELCOME mat out for me, Kevin.

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