Late Thoughts On Letterman/Palin

As you’ve probably noticed, Wizbang has been down for a few days.

That said, this piece, concerning David Letterman’s comments on Governor Sarah Palin and her 14 year old daughter, Willow, may seem a bit dated. However, it’s just a bit too bizarre to not comment about it.

And if you’ve gone to the funnyman’s website to look up the Palin “Top Ten” for yourself and found it is not listed nor is it able to be found within the archives, it’s not just you. For some odd reason, it has been deleted from the site.

If you hadn’t heard his outrageously jocose “Top-Ten list” concerning Gov. Palin’s trip to New York City, then here is a transcript for you:

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10. Visited New York landmarks she normally only sees from Alaska

9. Laughed at all the crazy-looking foreigners entering the U.N.

8. Made moose jerky on Rachael Ray

7. Keyed Tina Fey’s car

6. After a wink and a nod, ended up with a kilo of crack

5. Made coat out of New York City rat pelts

4. Sat in for Kelly Ripa. Regis couldn’t tell the difference.

3. Finally met one of those Jewish people Mel Gibson’s always talking about

2. Bought makeup from Bloomingdale’s to update her “slutty flight attendant” look

1. Especially enjoyed not appearing on Letterman

Give me a second while I wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.

Slutty flight attendant“? That’s funny? I guess Dave’s idea of what a women should be is just one who hangs at the house, with no ambition, no will, no wonderment, no education, and no physical self-esteem.

It would seem Dave has an innate hatred of successful women. Perhaps he knows if not for his wealth, he would be an ugly, gap-toothed, Alfred E. Newman stand in, who’d have no chance to look at a woman like Sarah Palin, let alone comment on her.

Although Sarah Palin’s shoulders are big enough to endure what passes for comedy aimed at her, Letterman’s pedophilic thoughts concerning her 14 year old daughter just crossed the realm from border-line civility to weird old-man fantasy talk.

In his opening monologue, Letterman blurted out this piece of comic genius:

“One awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game, during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez.”


Whew! Did it take a room full of ugly, sarcastic, hard-up joke-writers to come up with that one, or did Dave have this tucked away for just the right comedic timing?

Since when did pedophilic, slanderous, angry remarks like this become a staple of late-night comedy. This is the best this over-paid, over-rated, irrational weirdo could conjure? I suppose he’s trying to increase his ratings with the all-important 18-65 year-old pervert demographic.

How does Sarah Palin, as a parent, explain the meaning of this and what intent could possibly have been derived from its utterance, to her 14 year-old daughter?

I should not be surprised. He has a recent history of debasing Gov. Palin, bordering on extreme loathing. Here are some really funny examples!

(All quotes are taken from an article by Harold Kurtzman)

“I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the weekend anchor on Channel 9. She looks like the hygienist who makes you feel guilty about not flossing. She looks like the relieved mom in a Tide commercial.” –David Letterman

“I kind of like that Sarah Palin. You know, she reminds me, she looks like the flight attendant who won’t give you a second can of Pepsi. No, you’ve had enough. We’re landing. Looks like the waitress at the coffee shop who draws a little smiley face on your check. Have a nice day.” –David Letterman

“I like that Sarah Palin. She looks like the lady in the dental office who gives you the keys to the rest room. ‘There you are. Just bring them right back.’ She looks like my selection of the week on Sarah Palin is a good-looking woman. She looks like the woman in the department store who tries to spray you with perfume. ‘Just a little.'” –David Letterman

“I like Sarah Palin. She looks like the dip sample lady at Safeway. She looks like the nurse who weighs you and then makes you sit alone in your underwear for 20 minutes. She looks like the Olive Garden hostess who says, ‘I’m sorry, your table isn’t ready yet.” She looks like infomercial lady who says she made $64,000 a month flipping condos.” –David Letterman

“Do you like Sarah Palin? Do you kind of like her? Yeah. I like her because she looks like the lady at the bakery who yells out ’44! 45!’ She looks like a real estate agent whose picture you see on the bus stop bench. That’s who she looks like. She looks like the lady who has a chain of cupcake stores. She looks like the mayor of a small town that’s banned dancing.” –David Letterman

So, not only does Letterman find it funny to denigrate Gov. Palin and her family, but he manages to do it in a way which insults a wide variety of different kinds of people doing different types of jobs, which he obviously feels disdain toward, I guess just because they don’t make as much money as he does.

In these “jokes” he manages to disparage a weekend news anchor, a hygienist, a waitress, someone in a commercial, flight attendants (like the ones who were killed as they helped fight off terrorists in the 9-11 high-jackings), dental office workers, women who have used e-Harmony, nurses, department store workers, sample people at grocery stores, restaurant hostesses, infomercial actors, bakery workers, the owner of a cupcake store, and small-town mayors.

These examples pale in comparison to what he stated the other night, but establish a pattern of hate, not humor.

This latest attack was misogynistic, slanderous, intentionally or unintentionally pedophilic, and just plain humorless.

His half-assed apology, bathed in sarcasm and reeking of indifference, was probably enough to placate his boorish audience and complacent (if not agreeable) media.

This all said, one person, forgotten in all of this, is Alex Rodriguez. Like him or not, how can he not be livid over the use of his name in such an implication. Where has it ever been suggested that he was involved in anything of the sort of behavior of which Letterman spoke? He was used a prop in an angry attempt to further smear the Palin name, and he should come out with some sort of condemnation, no matter what his feelings of Palin may be.

Considering every bad or violent act is now blamed on “right-winged extremists”, will the media and the Obama administration put out statements warning the public to be wary of rising instances of child molestation and pedophilia due to the hate speech of late-night comedians and their hack writers?

Letterman is just not funny anymore. If he wants to do this kind of crap, and be able to get away with it, he should go to Show Time.

Authored by: Shawn Mallow


I don’t know why there is a “Search” function bar in the paragraph concerning Alex Rodriguez. Guess it’s just some funky remnant of this platform. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. I am sure once we are back up and running as usual, it will be fixed.

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