Like Mr Creosote in a fine restaurant, members of the US House convened at the public trough this afternoon to gorge on tax dollars. Or pass what is purported to be a stimulus bill. Nine-hundred billion dollars in new spending (over $1.2 trillion if you want to count the interest…) passed on a party line vote.
Bring me a bucket, indeed.
After years of irresponsibly squandering tax dollars – and voter confidence – House Republicans finally took a stand and said, “I’m absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.” There’s no political risk to fiscal sanity since an orgy of government spending has never sped economic recovery. It was absolutely the right move by Republicans. With a little unity from Republicans in the Senate there’s a chance this abomination might be stopped.
Maverick, I’m looking at you.
That’s too depressing to think about, so it might be fun to appropriately christen this Mother Of All Porkbarrels ourselves. American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 just doesn’t do it justice. Surely we here at Wizbang can do better, so I’ll get the ball rolling:
- Permanently Expanding The Federal Baseline Budget Act of 2009
- Maybe FDR Couldn’t Spend The US Out Of The Great Depression But Modern Democrats Are Smarter and More Nuanced Act of 2009
- Hope, Change, and What The Hell Are You Going To Do About It Act of 2009
- Our Campaign Donors Didn’t Write That Boatload Of Checks In 2008 Out Of The Goodness Of Their F—ing Hearts Act of 2009
- You Can’t Prove Drunken Sailors Eventually Wake Up Sober and Remorseful Act of 2009
- Screw It, We’ll Be Long Dead While Our Grandchildren Are Paying For It Act of 2009
Or, anticipating the refrain we’ll be hearing for the next four years:
- Don’t Blame Us, It’s All Bush’s Fault Act of 2009
Bring it on, suckers. Hit me with your best shot. Winners will take home a lifetime supply of high-protein feed for their new Obama-branded unicorn.