The Best Revenge

I have a very dear friend who has an absolutely fantastic personal anecdote, but he can’t re-tell it without seeming like a braggart. So, naturally, he’s begged me to tell it for him.

My friend (let’s call him Jason) is divorced. He and his ex-wife had a marginally cordial relationship, and still moved in the same social circles, but they were clearly and irreconcilably apart.

(And I need to add that I never got along with the ex-wife.)

The two of them were at a gathering and happened to be on opposite sides of two women who were chatting. Both my friend and his ex were just close enough to hear the conversation as it developed. During the talk, the first casually identified herself as bisexual.

Woman #2: “I though you were a lesbian?”

Woman #1: “I was, until I met Jason.”

The incredible ego boost my friend experienced at that chance remark was only sweetened by the expression on his ex-wife’s face as she heard it. As he described it, it was the most amazing combination of shock, disbelief, and sudden realization of just what she had had — and willingly given up — all struck her at once.

My friend was absolutely insufferable to be around for almost a month, and to this day still revels in the memory.

And he learned then and there that the best revenge is, indeed, just living well.

I once promised him that one day I would tell this story for him, and now have kept my word.

Of course, I did not identify him, so if anyone asks me to confirm that the story is indeed about him, I can deny it.

Consider that, my dear friend, my revenge for having to put up with your boasting over that incident lo these many years.

Did he store it in a freezer?